The video of her hugging her son’s killers, has gathered over 34 million views worldwide. She chose to forgive rather than to sit in hate, anger and revenge. Rukiye Abdul-Mutakallim, sits down with Gissele to chat about how she was able to forgive those who killed her son. She talks about the impact of trauma and how addressing it is the key to the survival of our species. She shares her wisdom on how to create a more loving and compassionate world. Do not miss this amazing episode.
We are all born beautiful and perfect little babies. Full of unconditional love and compassion as well as joy and curiosity about our world and our fellow human beings. Unfortunately we have learned a lot of messaging that has taken us away from our inherent feelings of love, compassion, joy and abundance. Thus, the journey back to loving ourselves is about unlearning.
Many of us, were born to human beings who may have had insecure, or disorganized attachments to their parental figures. They may have been taught conditional love. For those of you who do not know what conditional love is, here is an example: “I will love you if you do X, and I withdraw my love via attention, or respect, if you don’t”. The messaging may not have been as clear as this, but the energy behind the behavior was crystal clear. I have to earn the love I receive.
This messaging made many of us internalize messages about our own worthiness to receive this love. Some children will internalize these messages because it gives them a sense of control. “Perhaps if I change, I can receive love.” Other young people will feel that no matter what they say or do, they will not get their needsmet for love and will feel “unlovable”.
Listen to Dr. Danielle Law’s wisdom on why bullying happens and how we can positively influence bullying with compassion! We talk about her research on bullying and find out some surprising things about cyberbullying and physical bullying. This is a must listen for anyone interested in having a greater understanding why bullying happens.
Recently David and I had the opportunity to attend the Ask Sharifa show as guests on a panel. The topic of conversation switched to parenting teenage children, especially during the pandemic.
As parents of two teenagers, David and I know the parenting challenges that can arise at the different stages of our children’s lives. As we have all heard, kids aren’t born with a manual, and even if we did have one, no one-size strategy can fit all the needs of young people. Today, on the surface it may appear as though the needs of our children are not the same as they were when we were young. We didn’t have social media to contend with, or have the pressure to be constantly “on” social chats so you can score points and not lose your rank. Some young people are dealing with increased social isolation from COVID19, increased focus on electronics, and/or may find home is not a safe (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) place to reside in but have no other options due to closures. However, at the core, all children have the same needs: to be loved and to love, to be seen, to be heard, to feel safe and provided for, to have agency in their lives, to experience things, to live their dreams, and to flourish and grow. Nevertheless, as parents it may feel at times as though we have no idea how to support our kids or that the needs of our children supersede or conflict with our own needs or desires. However, there are ways to ensure a more harmonious relationship with our children.