Ep.34 Amy Joy – Let Go of Fear and Live your Dreams

Can we live extraordinary lives after trauma?  How do we find the gifts in the chaos? In this conversation, Amy Joy shares her experiences being a missionary child, escaping an abusive relationship, and fleeing to Mexico to start a new life with her children.  She shares the mindset shift which helped her find freedom and live her best life.  Tune in to find out how self-love and self-compassion helped her finally forgive those who hurt her and see everything in her past with a new perspective. 
Transcript

 [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Love and Compassion podcast with Gissele we believe that love and compassion has the power to change our lives in our world.

Gissele: Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more amazing content. On today’s podcast, we’ll be discussing living our best lives with love and compassion with Amy Joy. Amy is a number one international bestselling author, a breakthrough strategist at Amy Joy Coaching, and is the founder and CEO of Upaya Healing Center.

Amy is also currently a proud coach for the Wing man coaching a Reiki master, and a certified in Sound, Instant Miracle in crystal healing. She worked for four years as a missionary in the jungles of Papa. New Guinea is a single mother of two sons by birth, plus another son by unofficial adoption, which is awesome.

Gissele: She escaped an abusive marriage and started over in a foreign country and is now thriving [00:01:00] in living her best life. Amy loves people and is passionate about helping and inspiring them to live extraordinary lives. Her mission is to liberate people from suffering, And light the path to joy and freedom. Please join me in welcoming Amy. Amy.

Amy Joy: Hey, . Thank you for having me.

 Thank you for being here. I’m so excited for us to have this chat. During these challenging times right now that you hear so much about all the things that are happening in the world, the worries about, the economy and worries about war and health.

Gissele: It’s so nice to be able to share stories about, resilience and survival and thrive, and not just survival, but thriving. so I’m very excited to talk to you today. Yeah. I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about, maybe your childhood and what led you to this journey.

Amy Joy: All right. So yes, I grew up in a small town in Ontario, Canada.

So I’m a [00:02:00] Canadian girl and grew up very interesting upbringing. I grew up in a school for missionaries, so everyone there was coming to get trained on how to be a missionary, and so my worldview was quite large. Everyone I knew was going to the other side of the planet somewhere. And, and ended up doing that myself.

Went to Panama and Bolivia, two summers in a row to mission work and helped build a school in the airstrip. And, ended up getting the bug, the travel bug and the, the help bug I love to help and contribute. So, went through four years of college, got specialized in unwritten languages, and then spent four and a half years in a tribal village in Papua New Guinea.

learning their language culture, helping them medically. And all of that. my husband, however, was, a lost being in that. He was terribly abusive and it got to the point of life and death, and I had to run with my two sons who were two and four at the time. back to Canada and, but the [00:03:00] harassment just continued.

Amy Joy: And long story short, I, I made a, a leap and ran to Mexico and hid and hid in Mexico for 12 years. thankfully i had full custody, so that was good. and, started over here in Mexico. I’m still in Mexico. I love it. it’s my happy. . And, basically I did the work to get, to get help and to get healed and, to reprogram myself from the stuff that I was given as a child.

And all of us have been given programs I believe that we didn’t ask for and often don’t serve us. And so now I, that’s what I do. I coach and teach. And, I also am an energy worker. I, I help move trauma out of the body, so that we can live our fullest, best freedom filled life, so Mm

Gissele: Oh, thank you so much for sharing that.

it’s not an usual childhood. It seems a little bit unusual to be raised in a missionary. what was that like, from the perspective of a child

Amy Joy: So I, I moved there when I was seven and a half and my life.

Before that [00:04:00] was really quite rosy and full of love, and it was amazing. And then I, I noticed even at that young age when I, when we got to the mission and it was wonderful in lots of ways, okay? Mm-hmm. , it was, I had lots of great things about it. However,my struggle was that I didn’t see that women counted at all.

They just, they were no women in leadership. It seemed like I couldn’t do anything that I wanted to do, and I was a tomboy. And so I kept being told no simply because I was a girl, and that made no sense to me. , even as a kid, I was like, What does that have to do with anything? I can do it. And so at eight years old, I made a decision that I was gonna show them that I could do what guys could do and I could do it better.

And I did. . and it became a program that ran that, that served me well in lots of ways and also hurt me in lots of ways because I denied the feminine in me. I was achieve, achieve proof, proof, [00:05:00] proof and so much stress. So much stress, so much lack of joy, trying to, to be like that. So it was, it. It was difficult for me.

It was difficult. My, my siblings had a completely different upbringing. They’d like, What’s wrong with the problem? You know, my sister was super feminine, didn’t wanna do anything like that. And my brother was a boy, so he had a completely different upbringing cuz boys can do whatever they want and, and so it, it’s interesting, but that was my struggle and that was my, my growth, right?

So, mm-hmm. .

Gissele: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. It’s so interesting that you mentioned, because I think, It is possible for people to have completely different experiences, right? Because of where their energy and attention is at. And so, it’s so funny, I’ve had experiences with with my sister, and even with other people, you can have the same, like you can physically share the same experience, quote unquote, but is it really the same experience?

Cuz you’re, each of you are having kind of your own experience. So, yeah. But that must have been really, really challenging for you because you might not have [00:06:00] felt. You could be your authentic self. And so you became more, I guess the more the masculine aspect. What do you think led your parents to wanna to take on missionary life, they’re

Amy Joy: beautiful people and, and most of the people I grew up with really were beautiful. Like the, I don’t, Okay. I, I’m just gonna be real. I, I don’t believe the same things anymore at all. I believe in being kind and gracious, so of course, but, but, and I don’t wanna step on anybody’s toes, but, but our belief was that if we don’t go and tell the tribal people about Jesus, that they were literally gonna go to hell.

Die and go to hell. And so our hearts were to help them. We didn’t want them to die and go to hell. and so that’s why we were all doing what we were doing was to, was to give the tribal people a chance to know. and so in that, that’s, that’s beautiful. I mean, [00:07:00] and you know, I don’t feel that that’s the way it is, for me.

Gissele: Yeah, that’s, Yeah. It’s so interesting that you mentioned that because I think, I mean, this is, this thought is not unique to missionaries or religion or in so on, in, in one of the conversations we have, here at our center is about what compassion truly is, right? We think that a lot of our compassion comes with judgment, right?

how, how did the people respond to your, like from people who Papa New Guinnea respond to your helping?

Amy Joy: So they, this is important. Everybody knows that we didn’t just push our way in.

they, they were inviting us. They had been hiking over the mountains, a a week’s hike to another tribal village. so asking for missionary. and, they, they, they knew what to say, you know, they said they don’t wanna be afraid anymore. And they’ve seen other tribal villages that weren’t, weren’t afraid, and that may or not be true.

in my experience, a lot of it was they [00:08:00] just wanted the stuff that came with the missionary, you know? Medicine and the, and the stuff, you know, clothing, you know, and we were really careful not to just like create a welfare society. but, but if they did work for us, we would give them clothes, you know, And so there was, they, they had a little bit more going on naturally just by us being there.

Amy Joy: Mm-hmm. , you know, we were really careful not to change them. We weren’t there to change their culture or say that’s wrong or Yeah. And they didn’t know about certain things, like they’d wipe their baby’s butt and then wipe their mouth, you know, like they didn’t know that, that isn’t great. Yeah, . Yeah, Yeah, yeah.

Gissele: That could cause them illness

Amy Joy: . So yeah, they, they had, they didn’t know the world. They didn’t, they’d never seen different cultures, different colors. They had never. Seen anything like that. So we helped them, you know, not get taken advantage of by, by the gold mine that was nearby, that was ripping them off and poisoning their rivers.

Oh, wow. And so we wanted to [00:09:00] teach them and did teach them. There’s still, my coworkers continued there and, and they’re now having building schools and, and they’re learning how to read and write their own language. And that’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. so.

Gissele: The other great point you raise is that, you know, there’s neither good or bad, right?

There’s just right, like what we perceive. So in that case, so often we have these dichotomies or these dualities, right? And so in, in terms of like. This is good or this is bad, but in, in that case, they got a benefit from the experience. yeah. So that was helpful. That might have had some other unintended consequences, but that’s really kind of what the world’s about.

Sometimes, you know, we’re both light and dark and, you know, sometimes there are things that we do that might be considered, hurtful or not helpful, but really, The key thing is, is that your intent was not to do harm. It was to do from your, from the perspective to be, to be loving and to be helpful.

Right.

Amy Joy: So I think [00:10:00] that’s really great. Absolutely. And that’s continued, that’s continued on with when my, with my coworkers and, you know, it’s, it’s all perfect.

Gissele: Yeah. So tell me a little bit about, how you got into your relationship and how, I am assuming, and, and maybe I’m wrong, making the assumption that it morphed from a loving relationship to one that was maybe, more challenging or more as you mentioned, abusive.

so what do you think was kind of the shift and then what helped you get out of it? Yeah,

Amy Joy: Okay. I, I think that is normal. that wasn’t what happened for me. It was the day of our wedding, things changed. Mm-hmm. and. Like drastically, like mm-hmm. to the point where I was like, Who are you? Like mm-hmm.

What? I, I was just in shock and I just, I made excuses for it, thinking it was, you know, stress or, you know, whatever. So I, I know from that moment [00:11:00] on things were, were not the same. And they weren’t good. They weren’t good. I really don’t have a good memory married. Dating was wonderful. I had no red flags.

I didn’t, I didn’t see anything bad coming down the pipe. I, I just didn’t know. Now, in learning about people who, who suffer with psychopathic and narcissistic disorders, this is what happens is, is the abuse doesn’t start until they know that they have you emotionally or physically. And in my culture and in my belief system, it was at marriage.

Right. Mm. Okay. And he, he knew that I was stuck now, like I did not have an out. And I believe that too. I did not have an out, that’s why I stayed almost eight years because I believed I didn’t have an out, because the Bible says you can’t. Right. At least that’s, that’s what I was grown up to believe.

Mm-hmm. . So, so then he could just do whatever he wanted. And once he, once he had me, and so, Yeah, [00:12:00] no, it got really got really bad and by the, by the time I, my second son came around, It was, Yeah, it was. It was really bad. But now I’m in the jungle. is literally in the middle of the jungle. The only way in and out is by helicopter and then an hour Cessna plane ride.

And you can’t call either of those in without people knowing. Mm-hmm. . And it just wouldn’t have been, it wasn’t understood what was going on and nobody could really conceptualize it. And because he’s a man and I’m not, I lose. So, so I had to be really smart about it. And, and nobody could know. I tried, I tried little bit to see, test the waters to see if I could trust anybody with the information, but it was just, it was too much.

It was, it was too impossible in their, in their minds for it to be real. And, and so, yeah, so I, I,had to do it on my own and, and, thankfully I got away and, whew. Yeah, it [00:13:00] was, it was intense.

Gissele: Can you share a little bit about how you got out, if it was so, like how were you able to finally get out? Like that must have been, was it miraculous or

Amy Joy: Kinda. I mean, the way it works is you’re in the tribe four years, four, four and a half years, and then you come back to your home area for a year. And so we got, we got to the States and I remember seeing the lights of LA and I was looking out the window and I said, God, you gotta, you gotta do something.

Help me. I can’t, I can’t stay. And it took two weeks before he left me alone for any amount of time where I could run. And, as soon as that moment happened, my,family was actually visiting and so we each took a floor and grabbed our clothes and the kids and loaded the car and took off. And I was only 15 minutes down the road and he.

Knew and was losing his mind. So it was, yeah, it was a miracle. God protected me and helped me get [00:14:00] out. And, and then I got back to Canada and got through the court system and got custody and all of that. Mm-hmm. thankfully. Thank you. Thank you, Thank you. And, yeah, so it was, it was like something out of a movie, honestly.

It was, it was, yeah. But it was what was necessary. To be there. I had a pastor waiting at the house after I left to make sure he was okay and, and that there was a witness. And, and it was really good that I did that because I think that also saved us. Cause he, he couldn’t be behave terribly, with people watching.

Yeah. So.

Gissele: Wow. That is smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, but even after, like you had left, there’s still an extraordinary amount of healing that needs to happen for yourself. and so, how did the journey towards healing begin and what helped you along the way?

Amy Joy: Ooh, I was, I was a mess. I was a [00:15:00] wallflower. I had no opinions.

I had no, because for eight years I had no say in , there

Gissele: was only one opinion in that

Amy Joy: relationship. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. If I wanted to put a picture on the wall, I had to get permission for it, you know, like, and, and so it’s, it’s a, it’s a long road. Honestly, I can’t say it’s not, at least it was for me. And I, I was in a place where I really didn’t have a lot of help. my parents were absolutely physically helpful, and emotionally helpful.

But as far as the healing process, that didn’t really honestly start until I moved to Mexico and I, and I hired a coach healer and like did the work mm-hmm. and, realized that I had co-created this mess. You know, and real, taking responsibility for, for the believing that I didn’t have value. Yes, I was a child.

Yes, I can understand why it happened, but at the end of the day, I left with the same [00:16:00] beliefs that I couldn’t leave because of my belief systems, right? Mm-hmm. . And so, but then I did, So what was the difference, right? Why, Why is it not okay? And then all of a sudden it’s.

Right. Yeah. And so coming to terms with all that and knowing that I stayed longer than I should have for my kids, like we went through undo pain because I didn’t wanna be alone because I wanted to believe that marriage is forever and that, that it would change, because I felt like I didn’t have enough value or, or I couldn’t do it right.

All things that weren’t true, but I believed. Until I didn’t, and then I did something about it. Right? But just knowing and taking responsibility for that and going, Okay, all right, so how do I do this differently? What, what do my new beliefs need to be so that that never happens again? Right. And so this is a, this is a process [00:17:00] and, and in my humble opinion, you need help.

You need a coach, You need a third party. Who doesn’t, isn’t your family ? Mm-hmm. isn’t in your, in your religion probably even. And, and just can see things. Outside of your own blinders and your own in your own programs. And when that happens, magic, magic happens because then you’re like, Oh, okay, this is what I want.

And then you start designing your life instead of living the life that was designed for you. So, yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Gissele: You said some really excellent things. I just wanna point out two of the ones that I think that, were really significant for me. the first one was really that you co-created that experience through your feelings and emotions and thoughts like the, your lack of self love, your lack of worth aligned you to an experience of someone who would’ve had that sort of same belief, but maybe in a different way.

and so accepting responsibility was a huge part of it. and and I think that’s [00:18:00] really, really critical cuz it’s really hard for us to admit that to ourselves. It’s really hard for us to, to realize that we may have aligned to that in the ways. The second thing that I thought was really instrumental was that you were looking for your love outside of yourself

Gissele: yeah, you were looking for someone to love you so that you could feel lovable. You were looking for someone to value you so that you could feel valued. And so I think when we look for external sources for our own love and and compassion, Puts us at the mercy of the other person’s behavior. And so often we want other people to change in order for us to feel what we need to feel.

And so I love that you talked about the responsibility that each of us has on our journey and mm-hmm. , you made a decision to change. Why do I need to believe in order for me to live my dreams? And so you had to make that choice. What got you to Mexico in the first place? I have to ask.

Amy Joy: Well, he just, he just kept harassing and and I was [00:19:00] like involuntarily twitching at that point.

And, had migraines. I couldn’t even work anymore. I had a year and a half straight of migraine, nonstop. I was. I was hardly a human, let alone a mother. And so, what ended up happening, I needed a break. And so I said, went to the travel agent where they still had those . And I said, Do you have any good flights to Mexico?

I haven’t been to Mexico. And she says, Yeah. And I, I said, Okay. And so she, she told me a place, and I was like, Is that in Mexico? She’s like, Yeah. And I’m like, All right, let’s, let’s do it. So three days later we were on a plane to Mexico and three days into our trip, I didn’t have a migraine for the first time in a year and a half.

And for the first time in, I can’t even tell you how many years, I wasn’t looking over my shoulder. I wasn’t, I wasn’t afraid and I thought, I can’t do this anymore. I choose not to do this anymore. And I don’t want my kids growing up with this fear. They don’t [00:20:00] even have a mother right now, and they don’t have a father.

And so, at least not their birth dad, Right. And so mm-hmm. . so I, I made a choice and, went home, sold everything, my home and furniture and everything, and in five weeks and, and drove, Drove down, down, drove all the way down to Mexico and, and started over. Yeah.

Gissele: But you had to make that choice, right?

Like you had to make the choice to now no longer have that experience. and so I think that is really, important. I also wanted to say it’s extraordinarily brave. What helped you have courage to, to make the decision to not no longer live this life?

Amy Joy: I think I have to thank the people in the, in the mission who I had to fight against constantly because I was, I was strong.

Yeah. You know, I would get up. I honestly, I was a little girl and I would talk to the leadership and go, Why? Like, explain to me why. [00:21:00] And people are like, Amy, shut up. Like, what are you doing ? And I’m like, No, I need to know. Like, this is crazy. You know? And and I think that’s, Made me strong. I don’t know.

I’m just so grateful. I’m so grateful. I was, I was able, I was able to do it. And best thing I ever did, best thing I ever did. Best, best, best, best. Yeah. I ever did .

Gissele: Yeah. And which is so great. Yeah. so in the process of healing, especially when you realize that you have co-create something perhaps that you.

It’s not anything you would’ve consciously chosen. Subconsciously we choose, but consciously you would’ve been like, Mm, I don’t think I would want this life on purpose. Right. And so what role did forgiveness, in your healing journey?

Amy Joy: I love that you asked that question. Okay. So I might blow some brains, but this is, this is where it’s at for me.

And I have this written in my bathroom. And I’ve had it on my [00:22:00] wall for years. Understanding replaces forgiveness in the mind of the master. I repeat, Yeah. Understanding replaces forgiveness and the mind of the master. And what that means to me is you can skip right over forgiveness when you understand that they didn’t understand.

My ex, if he knew what love was, he would’ve treated me with love. But he didn’t know what it was. Yeah. He didn’t understand it. Right. And even when we think people understand it, sometimes we forget. Right. Sometimes I forget. Right. And I behave in a way that isn’t, isn’t what I would normally do, but I just, I just did that.

I just said that. Right. Yeah. So it could. Him now or her now, and it could be me tomorrow. Right. And no [00:23:00] different than a two year old pulls your hair and bites you. Mm-hmm. You don’t talk about it for the rest of your life. You’re not offended by it. You don’t, you don’t think you’re not waiting. And in a lifetime for an apology, you understand that they’re too in their understanding.

Right. Yeah. And so, oh my goodness, you can just like it. It just makes things poof, disappear. Your biggest hurts. Poof, disappear when we start realizing that we are all just where, wherever we’re at, based on whatever program was given to us. Mm-hmm. . And guess what? Some of our toolboxes are not big and full.

We might be working with one screwdriver and we’re trying to do everything with a screwdriver, when really we need a hammer, but we don’t have the tool. So we can have grace and we can have understanding and so it’s like, I don’t need an apology from anybody. I’m fine. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Right. Yeah. Truly I feel that way now. [00:24:00] Yeah.

Gissele: Oh wow. I love that you said this, for many different reasons. So when, as you were saying the, the quote where my brain went was really the perspective that, you know, we are in this physical bodies, but we are not physical beings we’re, we’re spiritual beings and the spirit cannot be hurt.

We, this is just one from my perspective, one life of many incarnations, and so we’re kind of all on this journey of learning and growth, and so, We kind of feel like, you know, like we all kind of agree to kind of play these roles here for our soul’s purpose, but as we cross over there’s like, Hey baby, remember when you played the, when you were a pain in my butt that hey, thanks for that cuz it helped me, you know, mirror back to me what I needed to heal within my myself.

So when you look at life that way, everything is a gift. Sometimes it’s wrapped in crap, but everything is a gift. So then, So

Amy Joy: then that just bumps [00:25:00] all over my body.

Gissele: Yes, So, So then, Then sometimes our worst enemies can become our best as friends. If we allow ourselves to understand what is being mirrored and understand that we cannot be broken.

 Okay, I can release the concept of forgiveness and really understand that I’m in my mastery, that I am whole and complete and nothing has been taken from me because I can always choose at any moment.

yes. But, but for those people who may be, Still challenge within that, still stuck in that victim consciousness. Mm-hmm. , what, what could be one thing that they could do in order to kind of re, you know, be willing to be in more in their mastery.

Amy Joy: Eso So, All right, well that’s Spanish for Yes, . here’s what I would do.

I would look at whatever is your greatest hurts. Your greatest pains, the things that you are feeling a victim, even though you don’t wanna say you’re feeling a victim. But if you still, if you can think of something right now, then there’s something there to work [00:26:00] at, right? And, and if you ask this question, what gifts have come from this situation?

Now, at first, your subconscious is gonna throw a fit, , it’s gonna say,

Gissele: That’s very true. Nothing.

Amy Joy: Nothing came from good from this. Nothing. Yes, no, no, no. Just breathe. Just breathe, breathe. Breathe some more. And keep asking the question, What gifts have actually come from this? Who do you now know? Who have you met that you wouldn’t have met because of the situation?

What do you, what have you learned about yourself? How strong are. What do you know for sure now, who do you, who are your friends for real? Anything that you can gather? And then think about the ripple effect because I met this person, that means I met that person and they’re now my significant other and whatever.

Right? And you just follow the ripples and here’s the deal. If you have a page full of gifts, [00:27:00] you cannot look at the situation the same ever again. The problem is, is we don’t ask this question of ourselves. And so that’s the first step. That’s the first step, yeah.

Gissele: Oh, thank you. That’s so great. You know, as you were talking, one of the things that I thought about is, is that even if they can’t get to that place, there’s gotta be even a willingness.

A willingness opens the door even a little bit. And in seeing that it can open them up to this amazing potential, which you’re talking about, which I think is fantastic. tell us a little bit about, you know, you living your best life, thriving, like how you were able to go from, you know, healing those wounds to really living your best life.

Can you tell us a little bit what helped you get there?

Amy Joy: Yeah, so it’s, I think it’s a combination, which is what I speak about in, in the, in the book that I just wrote called “Get your shit together” how to go from fear to freedom , and, and it’s literally the steps on how to, how to do it. [00:28:00] It’s laid out, it’s, it’s a workbook basically.

And, How I did it was is I, like I said, I got to Mexico and that’s when I really started getting help and I hired a coach and I hired him for my kids and I, and it was the smartest thing I ever, well, one of the smartest things ever leaving an abusive husband was number one and number two is getting a coach for us.

And we each individually went to him, once a week for six years. That’s how serious we were. Wow. Growth and our healing. And, he helped us with our mindset, which I think is not, is imperative. you have to see things differently. You have to change the loop of the story. Yeah. That, that we all have about every facet of our life.

We have loops, we have stories, and you have to realize what they are and then decide if you wanna keep them. and, and then annihilate the ones you don’t and redesign the ones you do. Right. So that’s the [00:29:00] mindset piece. And then you have to heal the, the trauma. And there’s three ways trauma gets stuck energetically in our bodies.

And it’s through, if it’s acute, like it, you perceive it as a big deal. again, two siblings going through the same thing could see it completely different. Right? Yeah. But if you feel like it was a big deal, then it’s a big deal. In your body, right? Mm-hmm. . The second thing is if you feel like you’re alone now, maybe there’s physical people around you, but you feel they don’t get it.

I definitely have felt that lots, right? And then the third way is it comes outta nowhere. It’s a surprise. All right? Now a lot of traumas have all three. Right. And so this is where they get, they get lodged. And if you were to visualize, a PVC pipe running through your body, many of you know there are energy centers.

Some of us don’t know because in our western schools, we’re not taught this in Eastern. Side of the planet. They all know this is [00:30:00] very evident. Of course, we’re multidimensional beings. but we have seven energy centers. There’s actually thousands, but the seven main ones run up from right just below your private parts all the way up to your crown.

Mm-hmm. . And they, they have, they have to run, they have to spin, right? So if your PVC pipe ends up getting blocked by anger and fear and guilt and shame and lies, then. Imagine the energy just can’t move. Mm-hmm. , it just can’t move as well. And what happens is it creates literally physical dis disease in the body.

on the, on the, the long term effects of it and the short term effects of this. You’re just not your optimal self. You’re just not, you’re just not functioning well. And so, so you need to clean all that. , and sometimes there’s so many modalities on how you can move trauma out, like so many. The one that I used the most was, was probably crying.

I cried. [00:31:00] Buckets. Buckets and buckets. Like to the point where I didn’t know that I could cry. Like how is there more tears? ? but it was so cleansing. Crying is the best. It’s so good. It is. The other way is I had an energy healer, someone who knows how to do this, move it out and that’s what I now do.

so that, cuz it’s easier that way. I’m sorry, but I’m not saying there isn’t gonna be near needing to be tears, but, Woo. I can move that stuff out in a few minutes. And it literally changes how you approach everything else in your life. because you get down to zero, but you have to change the loop. Or the loop will, will create the same cobwebs, right?

definitely. I’m so grateful that you actually mentioned crying because that’s one of the things that I see the most is that people are, there’s an unwillingness to cry.

Gissele: There’s shame and guilt about crying, and, and this is what I remind people. It’s like we have tear ducts. They’re, they’re in within our body because [00:32:00] we’re supposed to cry. Crying is a great release. It’s a great way that the energy can move. It enables us to have like that cleansing. . but we kind of have all these misconceptions about crying that, you know, that it makes us weak or too vulnerable and it’s just so, I’m grateful that you mentioned that.

So I do have a question that I know my listeners would ask. So,

Amy Joy: Okay.

coaching is an investment, right? So how were you able to pay for six years for the three of you? I’m so glad you asked me that. So number one, it has to be a priority. If it’s not a priority, you’re not gonna do it. I do the envelope system. I don’t know if you’ve heard of that. It’s epic.

Amy Joy: It’s saved my life. every, you put all of your, your, Your costs, your nugget, like for survival. So your rent or your mortgage, your groceries, your gas, your phone bill. All the things that if you lost your job, what, what? What do you need to survive? Not buying clothes, not going out to eat. That’s extra, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So my coaching, my further [00:33:00] education envelope, and I literally use physical envelopes. There are programs that’s really cute. I suggest Why nab? Why naab? You need a budget. Yab, look them up. I don’t get any kickback. I’m just telling you. They, they’re, they’re awesome. you, if you, if you’re good on the computer, I am not.

I need physical stuff in my hand and you literally watch the envelope get big. So I have all of those things in a row from one on. So most important shelter probably. Then food, you know, it’s kind of hard to know which one’s first. But anyways, you feed those envelopes. and then anything else is after the needs are met.

And and I put my coaching right there at the end of my, my shelter. Water, gas phone. It’s right there. Mm-hmm. , because I don’t want to be the same tomorrow as I am today. Like. I’m on a mission to to be different. I’m on a mission to grow and [00:34:00] be better and to be more and more free. And if that’s important to you, then you gotta put time and energy into it.

Mm-hmm. . If you don’t have them funds right now to do that, then you ask yourself, What do I need to do to, to get some extra funds so that I can do this? Is it at overtime? Is it another side job? Is it, is it adding value to someone else’s life and you baby it for them? I don’t know. Find a way cuz there is one if it’s important enough to you and, it was honestly the most expensive thing in my monthly period.

My coaching, three of us and four of us when I got Xander, my adopted son at 16. So, but it’s so worth it, so worth it. And I really admire, well, I would, I would hope. Half person, I, if you like, who your coaches have, have your kids going to them. Because what happens, he would give me perspective on their perspective [00:35:00] and he would give them perspective on my perspective.

And then we were able to find the middle ground. So our, you know, the teen years really went phenomenally well. Mm-hmm. considering I, I had. Boys. . Yeah, . yeah, so that’s how I do it. I have, I have envelopes and I don’t, if I don’t have the money in the envelope, I just don’t buy it. And this is how I’ve done everything in my life.

Yeah.

Gissele: Yeah. Oh, that’s, that’s a great story. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. so one of the things that, that I know about you is that, you know, you’ve mentioned the book, and so I want you to talk a little bit because you said the universe told you to write a book. Can you tell me a little bit about that story?

because Yeah.

Amy Joy: Oh, okay. So Ive probably been told thousands of times that I should write a book. Because I was in sales and I would end up, people would, you know, talk, ask me my story, and I’d end up telling them, and they’d all sit there with their mouth hanging open because who lives in a jungle and who runs to [00:36:00] Mexico?

And like it’s. I guess it’s not boring. . And, and I was like, No way. I’m not writing a book. I, I don’t even journal. Like, I’m just not a, I can’t say this anymore. I’m just not a writer. Cause apparently, Yeah, yeah, exactly. But that’s no longer the story you tell yourself. That was my story. Yeah. And here’s the reality.

I mean, that’s true. And I was just plain scared. Are you kidding me? I’m gonna, My life out there. Mm-hmm. after running and hiding for 12 years, and now all of a, I wasn’t in a photo, I wasn’t in Facebook. I, I was nowhere for years. And now all of a sudden you’re gonna talk about this stuff. I want my family to get hurt.

This is, this is hard stuff. I’m talking about my upbringing. I’m calling it a cult. Like, this is hard. I don’t wanna hurt anybody, but. That’s how it, it was for me. [00:37:00] And, and I know, and I’m saying that it was beautiful in lots of ways cuz it was, and there was some not so beautiful going on too, you know?

Mm-hmm. , you know, and it’s, this is life, right. Again, it was all good for me and, and I see it as a gift, but I want everyone to understand that’s my heart. But some people take it wrong, but I, I let go of that because my heart is to help. And if I can help more people, then, then that’s what I wanna do.

And if, especially those in abusive situations, good lord. Like if, if you read the book and answer the questions like you can. Come out the same. You, you can’t, you’ll pick different people. You’ll, you’ll find your power. You, you know, you’ll stay gone. The average abused woman, I, I, I don’t know the stats for men, but the average abused woman goes back eight times, leaves and goes back eight times before they’re either killed or, or they leave [00:38:00] permanently eight times.

I, I have, I’m on a mission to lower that. You know, and, and, and, and help people literally get liberated from suffering. So I, I finally, the universe is like, now, now, and I’m like, No, . And then I was given, I literally, someone called me says, You wanna write a book? And I’m like, How did you know?. Right. I said, Well, not really want to, but I feel like I’m supposed to.

And so it was gonna be in Bali and I made another excuse. I said, No, it’s too far. It’s not in this time zone. I can’t get work done and do that. I said, If it’s in the summer and it’s in my time zone, I’ll do it. And I was literally handed a writer’s retreat, Guatemala, in the summer, and I was like, Oh, okay.

that’s how that happened. And I just, I, I guess I just listened and I did it right.

Like anything. It’s an idea [00:39:00] until you take action and then all of a sudden now I have it in my hand. Like what? Yeah. It’s wild.

Gissele: Oh, that is so amazing. Yeah. Can, do you have any more stories to share about kind of like where it all kind of magically came together?

Amy Joy: Ooh. Well, yeah.

I spent five weeks in Guatemala for eight, 10 hours a day with eight other people and. And had to go through the process of, do I wanna say this? Like, are you asked seriously? I’m like arguing with the divine. I’m like, Really? You want me to say that? You know, and, and I’m like, , you know, and having little, like, panic attacks and, and having to process it and, and I’m like, Okay, I guess I’m supposed to say it.

That’s what’s authentic is

Gissele: mm-hmm.

 I, you know,if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do. You know, if I’m, I’m not gonna half do it. And so I, I just, I really just put a lot of love and I really took a lot of time to [00:40:00] make sure that what’s in there is what’s supposed to be in there, at least from my understanding of what, what the divine was telling me.

Amy Joy: And I just keep saying, This is your book, not mine. Just use it and help me. You know? And it’s, I such a blessing to, to be on your podcast and in other places like this where I get to talk about it and, and mm-hmm. and cuz if someone hears it and picks it up and reads it, like I know it’ll make a difference.

Like, and it’s so humbling and wild that, that, that I’m able to do. And of course we are, we’re all divine. Yeah. Like, you know, like we forget, I’m all emotional. Just like, No, no, this is great. We forget how powerful we are and we all have a story. Mine’s not, Mine’s a little extra drama, but, but, but we all have stories that, that we can relate to with this stuff because [00:41:00] we’ve all been given programs we didn’t ask for period.

And it’s up to us to decide if we’re gonna live with what we’ve been given or decide to do it different. And, and it’s a choice and there’s no judgment. Do, do you, you know? Mm-hmm. , but I just wanna light the path. I just wanna hear you go. You wanna do it different. Here’s the way . Yeah. So,

Gissele: yeah. Thank you so much.

I, It really resonated with me when you talked about all of us being divine, because we forget that divinity, we get so stuck in the 3D picturing like, right, like this is me and I’m a victim and this, I’m the victim of circumstances. This is what’s happening. You know, when you look at, you know, the world around us and the messaging we receive from the media and all of these different things and all of these different people, it’s hard to stand in our own authority and say, I’m gonna choose to live this life.

right to, to some extent for you to have experienced what you experienced. You must have said this. There’s this external, right, there’s this, but I’m gonna [00:42:00] make a choice as to how I want to live my life. And I think that’s a very brave thing to do. I do know that, you went to India, for a little bit and, and you, it was life changing.

Can you share a little bit about that?

Amy Joy: Okay. Now I have full body goosebumps again, just thinking about it. Yes. Oh my God. I spent 28 days at the World Center for Enlightenment. Enlightenment based on their definition, and mine is the liberation from all forms of suffering, Which is why I went, because this is my, this is my mission too, right?

Yeah.

Gissele: Yeah. That’s your jam.

Amy Joy: I thought, I’m like, literally, that’s what I want. You know? Yeah. So I, I was going think, knowing that it was gonna be a, a big deal. But I had no, I I had no idea. , I had no, I had no idea. they, they, whew. Okay. How do I explain what happened? So, Dr. David Hawkins has a book called Power versus Force.

It’s amazing. Yeah. And it talk book talks about this, the, [00:43:00] the emotional chart, and it goes from zero to a thousand and, most of the world, 85% of the world vibrates below 200. And that is suffering below 200 is suffering above 200. You get into the beautiful states and the higher you go, the less suffering and the more be.

So to put into perspective like that, my spiritual gurus, masters, teachers, however you wanna say it, in whatever culture, they vibrate like in the high nine hundreds. So, so that’s like, that’s like being

next to sunshine and unconditional, like you can’t even physically get too close. and you start breaking down bawling because of the unconditional love. and so what, what they really, what we did, and I showed up and I went and I did the work. So I’m not saying I didn’t do anything. I did. and I just really wanna acknowledge that it’s a happening of what happens, what they, [00:44:00] what they do, what they share energetically, how they wipe out years of karma and obstacles and things, in order to raise your frequency.

And I can tell you that my frequency raised a ton. Mm-hmm. And I am not the same person. And I basically hardly suffer. Now I have this amazing book that teaches you how not to suffer. Right. Mm-hmm. . The reality is, is we suffer and the tools are how to change the suffering into, into joy. What I’ve received from India and from my gurus there is that it’s not even coming up for me to have to use my tools.

Mm-hmm. , like for real. And so like, if you can go to Ekkam, to Tapas, it’s 28 days. Go run . It’s the most profound thing I’ve ever done in my life, in my life, in my life, in my life. And it’s the, it’s the most profound [00:45:00] thing I’ve ever done for the planet. Because here’s the reality, the more we raise our frequency, the more we change the world.

Because our frequency, the energy that we put out into the world affects everyone around. We have to start taking responsibility for the energy. We’re puking on everyone and basically so, so it was unbeliev. I don’t know if I did a terrible job of trying to explain. It’s hard. It’s fantastic. Explain. Yeah.

Words are like, don’t work. Did you meditate for

Gissele: the 28 days? Is that what, Is that what you do there?

Amy Joy: Not, not, not every, not all, every moment of every day. But it’s, it’s a lot of meditation. It’s a lot of learning classes. it’s, it’s processes. It’s hard. It’s hard because our minds, our minds are rascals and they cause us so much pain, our [00:46:00] stories.

And what happens is everything gets magnified in this incubator. and I watched 600 people. There was 600 of us completely transform and we’re on a chat now and, and everyone’s still in awe. This is months later, we’re still. This happened and it didn’t even ruffle my feathers. . Mm-hmm. were still like in awe about it.

So I highly recommend it. Like, Oh my God, please go. and if you can’t go, well then, then sharpen your tools. And, and minimize your suffering because it’s possible we don’t have to suffer, most of the day can be joy and we suffer this much and we deal with that when it comes up. and that’s how I live my life now.

And it’s not cuz I’m special, it’s because someone taught me and I implemented and learned and practiced and so, yeah.

Gissele: Hmm. Oh, what a great way to kind of summarize the, our conversation today. can you tell people about where they can find you? Tell ’em about the book, Anything that you wanna share with our listeners before we [00:47:00] end?

Of

Amy Joy: course. Yeah, you can find me on amyjoycoaching.com. I have, I do private coaching, I do group coaching. I have retreats coming up in the new year, transformational retreats. And and then I have my book here. I’ll show. For those that can see, for those that are listening, it says get your shit together.

How to go from fear to freedom. I say it like that because I just feel like that’s what we’re all trying to do is just get our shit together. you can buy that right on Amazon at Getyourshittogether.life. It’ll take you straight to Amazon. You can get the Kindle version or the, or the physical copy. please share it with someone that you know needs it.

It’s a beautiful way to help someone you think might be in an abusive situation without making it an obvious, cuz it doesn’t say how to leave an abusive husband . Yeah. But it, it will beautiful it, it will give you the tools, to find yourself and, and to choose differently. [00:48:00] And that’s why I wrote it . so yeah.

Gissele: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for being on the show. We’re so, so grateful. Please everyone check out the book and go check out Amy and work with her. thank you for once again, listening to our podcast. And tune in for another episode of coming. Bye bye.

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