Ep.24 Emmanuel Dagher-Compassion for those we deem hurtful

This is the perfect time for a conversation on how to love those we deem unlovable.  Listen to this amazing chat between myself and the incredible Emmanuel Dagher, who has presented at the United Nations, as well as the World Congress about peace love and healing. 

Transcript

Gissele: Hello and welcome to the love and compassion podcast. We believe that love and compassion have power to heal our lives in our world. Please, don’t forget to like, and subscribe to our podcast for more amazing content on today’s podcast. We’ll be discussing how to love those that we deem unlovable, the people whose behavior we consider the most hurtful.

want to talk about how we can actually change our hearts in order to change how we perceive others. It gives me great pleasure. You have no idea. to introduce my next guest. He has accolades from Deepak Chopra and Jack Canfield. He is on multi best-selling author, teacher, musician slash sound, healer, and founder of the healing technology.

Gissele: The core work method. Emmanuel has shared the world stage with renowned luminaries, such as Marianne Williamson, Gregg, Braden, Neil, Donald wash, and many more. He has also had the honor of presenting in the United nations, the world Congress, as well as other national and international events in summits that promote peace, love and healing.

Please join me in welcoming. The amazing Emmanuel Dagher. Hi Emmanuel.

Emanuelle: Hi, just it’s so good to be with you and your beautiful audience. I’m so proud of you. I remember we spoke about a year ago, I think, and I’m just so grateful to see your expansion and growth in your work. So thank you. thank you so much for being on the show. I’m super excited. cause I’m a big fan of yours,of your musical work as long as well as your YouTube channel and what I love most about you and your messaging is it, you don’t make anything wrong,

Gissele: Like even our emotions, like shame and guilt so that’s why I figured you were the perfect person that I wanted to have this conversation with. I was wondering if you could tell our listeners who might not know you a little bit about how you got into this work.

Emanuelle: First of all, thank you for that.

you’re being so kind, so I will receive that. so just a quick backstory. I grew up originally, overseas and Beirut Lebanon during the civil war that lasted from 1975 to 1990. And as you know, the it’s never really been very safe since it’s kind of turbulent right now as well. And it has been, but it’s a beautiful country and it’s an amazing country that has a lot of amazing people.

they’re very resilient and I just loved them so much and I hope they catch a break soon. I wanted to be an ambassador, of peace and love that represents my country. And I wanted to show that our people are doing great work in the world. And I know we have some amazing, people that came before us like Holly Gibran and, you know, some, some amazing, luminaries, but, I, really suffered, because as you know, Gissele empaths we feel everything.

Emanuelle: So imagine being super sensitive and not having a father figure in your life and living in a convent with all nuns and your mom who is basically very free-spirited, which is amazing. I love my mom so much, but I had to be an adult. Like I remember at three years old, just feeling like, okay, I have to decide, I have to take care of my mom because she’s just.

You know, she was very young by the way. She was 19 when she had me. So she was very, all over the place. So I felt, I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I had to really ground the situation. And so we lived in terror and, and, survival and struggle and hardship, for many years. And, details don’t need to be shared about that, but it also was an amazing time because you can see how you really don’t need anything.

I mean, if you have basic necessities like food, water, I mean, and sometimes we didn’t have those, but if you have those, you can really, you know, overcome a lot of things. So I made a promise. I think I was like six or seven to the universe. God, whatever you want to call it. And I said, If we can get out of this situation, I will do whatever I can to make a difference in the world.

Somehow. I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know what it looked like. I knew I loved music. So, I knew that’s something that I enjoyed, but fast forward, we came to the United States when I was 11 years old. my mom’s sister had moved here before the war. She married an American guy and, it was a blessing because we have people here that really gave us an opportunity to, you know, get on our feet or my mom and dad on their, my stepdad on their feet.

and basically that’s when I realized that I, because we were in such survival and trauma, I didn’t realize how much I held in my body. So. I was very con you know, your body was twisted and contorted. I had scoliosis, it was discovered at 12 that I had that, I had skin issues like psoriasis. I had a stutter, I was very shy.

Emanuelle: Speaking was the last thing I wanted to do. and I had PTSD, so my mom and I sat down and we did actually try to work with some medical doctors to see what options I had. And they say they seemed a little invasive. So we went to alternative route. Okay. You know, in Indiana, there wasn’t at the time, a lot of, alternative opportunities, but we went to cities like Chicago and there was other cities that we went to.

I learned yoga. I learned stretching. I received acupuncture, meditation. And that really changed my life because I became as many, people who are helping others in this way. We prob probably really went through a lot of struggle, just like yourself to understand what it’s like so that we can serve others from that place of understanding.

Emanuelle: I know that I went through all of that for a reason. And I look back now, although it was challenging at the time and it could have gotten frustrating. I look back and I just have so much, love and compassion for that little boy who didn’t give up and who did have a mom who was super open-minded and allowed me to be myself.

So, fast forward, I, got a background in spiritual psychology in California. I studied so many different holistic methods and, certifications and things like that, and sort of saw what worked for me and also for the people that I was working on and what didn’t. And then. Added some of my experience into the whole thing.

And then that’s how the core work method was born. And I’ve been doing that for 15 years and it’s been the love of my life. I truly, aside from my dog, it’s been the love of my life. So, it’s just wonderful to witness people heal in a way that isn’t invasive and in a way where you allow your body and your mind to do what they naturally are meant to do.

Just kind of taking out some of the barriers that we’ve created mentally and physically, so that you can. So hopefully that answered your question.

Gissele: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you very much. Can you tell our audience a little bit about the core work? Cause some of them might not be familiar. I am, but I’m just wondering if

Emanuelle: Absolutely. So the core work combines neuroscience and spiritual psychology in a way that also helps you use experiential processes to physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and even financially feel better and expand. And so the way we do that is we acknowledge everything. We acknowledge the pain, the suffering, and we acknowledge the joy and the bliss so that we recognize that it’s all an experience, an extension of us, you know, we’ve all been many of us, I should say, have been.

Brought up in a rewards based system. Meaning if you do this, then you’re going to be rewarded. If you don’t, you’re going to be punished. So that is why so many dysfunctions and wars and, and struggles and fear and survival and control. We’re seeing so much of that right now. It’s really coming to the surface to highlight how dysfunctional, we were all brought up and imagine our parents and their parents and their parents.

I mean, it’s, it goes back a really long time. So my passion through the core work and just through understanding the human psychology and the potential of the human, my passion is to shift us out of. These patriarchal systems that are very punished, reward oriented and step into a very all-inclusive compassionate, loving first with ourselves.

And then as you do that, naturally, it’s going to seep into the world around us in many people like if you’re a mom or, you know, someone who really, is in service work service, for, for the world, you can do it for others very easily already, but usually when it comes to ourselves, a lot of people have some blocks there.

So the core work really helps remove those blocks and helps us come back to ourselves, which is the magnificent, whole beautiful radiant, aspect of us, which has always been there. And to get there, we have to acknowledge the parts that forgot that part of ourselves, the parts that were in fear and that were in judgment and that were, just thinking that they have to survive.

We don’t have to survive. We have to thrive. And this is now where the Baton has been passed from the patriarch to now the balance between the higher patriarch and the divine feminine energies, which is what I’m passionate.

Gissele: thank you for sharing that. you said so many things that I think are so key.

I’d like to start with the acceptance piece, cause I think that’s an important part of compassion, right? as I had mentioned earlier, one of the things I appreciate about you is that you don’t make things wrong. Like those emotions that we feel rather than pushing them aside, which is normally what we’ve been taught to do, and to just kind of avoid our trauma or avoid feeling through distraction, it’s really about embracing our emotions and bringing them, and you know, in holding them and holding space for them and to allow them to pass rather than just.

Gissele: Keep pushing them, but really what we’re doing is we’re feeding them. So I think that’s an important key part of compassion. the other thing you had mentioned is the concept of, it’s this kind of conditional love we’ve been taught, which is all of us in childhood. We’re taught, like, if you, you know, if you’re a good child, then you are lovable.

If you perform this way, then you’re lovable. and so I think these definitions of love have really shaped how we’re able to kind of accept ourselves and others.

What are your thoughts?

Emanuelle: Absolutely. And one way that really helped me, really embrace acceptance is to recognize all of our emotions are like our children.

So if you are angry, that’s one of your children. resentful. That’s one of your children. If you’re happy, that’s one of your children and just like all children, they all want it. They all want to be seen, acknowledged and to be getting your love and the way you give them, your love is simply by acknowledging them and spending time with them.

So in neuroscience, they tell us that when you’re feeling triggered, when you’re feeling angry, when you’re feeling, something is, is really, activated within you, that is an opportunity for us to step into that agitation in a way. That can actually use it for our benefit instead of something that’s going to take away from us.

So most people are conditioned to see agitation as something that they need to suppress or put aside or ignore. And that’s why it continues. That’s why, you know, let’s say whether it’s through news outlets or, or media, that’s why people are being manipulated to be in fear because they’re not willing to feel it and sit with it and be with it.

Because when you realize that all of your emotions, including the fear and anything else that you are not wanting to feel are just your body and mind’s way of wanting your attention, then you no longer seeing it. See it as a boogie monster. You see it as an opportunity to, oh my God, this is my gold. This is my.

Opportunity to love more, to listen more, to acknowledge more, to show up for more. And we’re not talking about any for anyone else right now, we’re talking about for you and a lot of people. And this is one of the greatest misconceptions of all time is that it’s selfish to, to take time for you and make yourself a priority.

And that misconception is one of the reasons why people look the other way when things come up or when discomfort comes up. So usually it takes about 90 seconds of you feeling, just sitting with that discomfort. So for example, let’s do an example right now, somebody is really stressed about their finances and like all of us, you know, maybe at the beginning of the month, you have a big bill to pay.

Instead of putting your feelings aside about that first, ask yourself, how do I feel about this? Okay. I feel worried. I feel panicked. I have anxiety. Your body is a barometer. It literally will physically speak to you. So where do you feel discomfort when you have to pay that bill? So usually for me, I feel it in my stomach.

Gissele where would you feel it when you feel a little bit. When it comes to finances in my heart. Okay. So let’s feel into our heart right now and I’ll feel into my solar plexus. Anyone who’s listening right now or watching it could be unique to you. So just see where that is. And just sit with that discomfort.

Emanuelle: It could be butterfly feelings, it could feel a sharp pain. It could feel, just the anxiety over overwhelming anxiety. Just sit with it and acknowledge it because this is your body. Simply asking for you to pay attention. That’s it for you to show up for yourself by paying attention and feeling what needs to be felt.

So let’s take a moment and do that and just breathe into that or not trying to get rid of rid of this feeling. We’re not trying to change it. We’re not trying to ignore it. We’re just sitting with it and acknowledge. So many of us are taught not to feel that it could be a challenge for you to feel this right now.

So if you’re feeling that just be gentle with yourself and the fact that you’re willing to try is already moving you in that direction. So if it’s not happening right now, we can come back and try it again later. But if you are able to just sit with any discomfort, so Gissele is feeling it in her heart, she’s feeling stressed about making a payment or something about finances for me, it’s in my stomach.

So what I would invite you to do is actually put your hand in that area. That’s feeling a little bit stressful. It’s just feel it.

And you’ll notice your mind may want to start to wonder and kind of like, oh, what did I eat for breakfast? Or what am I going to do later today? That’s just your mind. Telling you that there’s movement happening. There’s a shift. So just gently bring it back to that feeling of the discomfort and just take a deep breath in

and released. So the way that I like to see it is I use coconut oil, but if you like butter or whatever it is, when you’re cooking it, you start seeing it slowly melt. Right? You start seeing it just slowly melt. That’s how I visualize it. So however it is for you, but just feeling and noticing any of that discomfort.

Maybe it felt like a grip, like a really strong grip. Now it’s softening. The more you focus on it, the more acknowledged your body and your mind will feel, therefore they won’t try so hard to get your attention because now they have. So just thank your body and your mind for allowing themselves to speak to you so you can pay attention and just take a deep breath in

and release. And then you just check in with your body every few seconds, every 15 seconds or so, just to see if you’re feeling lighter and lighter. So just now I just want to ask you, do you feel any shifts at any lighter from that initial feeling that you were having maybe around money?

yeah, I actually noticed that it went from my heart to the back, like the back of my, so I guess, closer to the root chakra.

so I just put a hand on both spots and then I did feel it relax, and I do feel like, yeah, I felt much better. And then I also felt like you were, cause I had a question in my head and you answered the question before I got the, which was thank you for acknowledging that for some people. Cause I have worked with people who are high trauma, right.

within the child welfare system and for them being in their space, it’s just too much. There’s just been, it’s just so traumatic what they’ve gone through. And what I love about your work is that you are late, allow people to take a step away from that, which is I’m willing and willing to be willing.

Gissele: Right. And so, so it just kind of softens it for people so that they can actually find titrate so that they can find. The state, the stage that makes them feel more comfortable and then start to get closer slowly, which is a little bit safer than trying to go in and go, what’s going what’s in there. Right.

So I think that’s

Emanuelle: so thank you for, oh, you’re so welcome. And having experienced so much trauma and had had, PTSD, anytime I used to hear a thunder storm or, just a loud noise, it would, you know, Jeremy moved me out of my body and it took days sometimes for me to come back in. so I know exactly what you’re talking about.

So the fact that they are showing up, even if it was against like maybe their parents or whoever wanted to, bring them there, or, an authority, the fact that they’re, there is enough the fact that they’re there just sitting and at least. Maybe not open, but listening that’s enough. And for me, that’s what I needed.

you know, I didn’t really have that, specifically when it came to professionals working with me in the beginning. So I was looking for that because they were expecting me to be ahead of what I, what I was able to do. And so I had to go through different practitioners, before I got, you know, to the one that really helped.

Gissele: Yeah, and I think that’s so important because a lot of the times we’ll just accept the person’s the expert and we give our authority away to their, to the professionals. And I think it’s good to find people that resonate with your messaging. And I know that’s your messaging. And also Anita Moorani’s who had that, you know, experience in terms of, you know, having a death after cancer and then coming back, I think both of you message that how important it is for us to really find people that resonate with what our inner self is saying to us in terms of what our journey should be, rather than us continuing, giving away our power to other people.

Emanuelle: Yes. And, you know, going back to that little process that we did of just sitting with and feeling, if you even feel a tiny ounce better, if you feel like a little bit of a release that’s confirmation from your body and mind that you are being acknowledged, that they feel like they’re being acknowledged.

So just feel grateful even though maybe it’s not what you expect it to be like, oh, I feel happy. And I want to do a dance and all that. But if you just feel even a little bit of a, oh my God, I was sitting on that egg for a long time and now it hatched, you know, like just whatever it is, it just okay from this space.

Now you’re coming back into your peace and peace is ultimately what the core work is about. It’s about coming back to your neutral, peaceful self, and imagine what it would be like making decisions from that. So going back to that question, imagine you have to pay that bill and it may still feel a little like struggle oriented, but there should be a space there between you and the story that maybe you’re in lack or you, and the story that you’re in survival.

So that space. Is who you truly are, which is the peace that the observer, the presence, spirit source, creator, God, whatever you want to call it, it’s you. And when you just, that’s why meditation is so powerful when you let’s say your mind is kind of like thinking a lot, just the awareness that you are the space between those thoughts, even if they’re running a million miles per hour.

Okay. But there’s space between there they’re stillness, that’s who you are. And that’s what meditation helps. That’s what the core work does. That’s I mean, there’s so many different ways to do it, but it’s really about coming back to your peaceful self and making decisions from that space. So instead of going from a place of desperation and need and survival, which usually results in experiences that kind of match that.

Now you can make a decision. Okay. So I might be a little bit stressed about making a payment, but there is peace here, and I’m going to just take one step out of that. I’m going to take one day at a time. So that already is creating space for you to be more open and available to higher wisdom, higher insights, because you are connected to source.

You are source, so you might get an epiphany or an idea. Oh my God, why didn’t I think of this business opportunity? Why didn’t I? Oh my gosh. So now it’s going to start showing up in ways that you may not have been paying attention to when it was right in front of you, because all you’re doing is you’re creating space between you and the thoughts that you were telling about yourself and the world, which sometimes are not always accurate of who you truly are, who you are, is not broken.

It’s not unlovable. It’s not somebody that can’t be taken care of and honored, but ultimately all of that, it needs to come from you. It wants to come from you. So if you’re feeling like something is missing, it’s simply because you’re, you don’t know how or someone hasn’t taught you how to give something to yourself.

Like most people are conditioned to think they need a partner or a husband or wife or whatever. And that’s great. But if you are doing it from a place that I need that to complete me, you’re going to always find something in them that is not completing you. But at first that might be good, but then eventually that’s what will happen.

So if you really see all of your experiences, including what you thought you wanted from somebody else as an opportunity to give it to yourself, now what’s going to happen is you’re going to commit to loving yourself, showing up for yourself, doing the personal growth work. Imagine what kind of partner you will attract and what kind of partner you will be when you do that.

Even if you have to sit through some not so aligned partners, you will realize it right away. You will see it right away. Like, oh, this is not for me. This person has this tendency and it’s making me, you know, not feel safe, so, okay. I’m going to, because my priority is to make myself feel safe, loved, cared for, and if you’re not giving that to yourself, why would anyone else give that to you?

So that’s sort of the mirror that you were talking about or. Yeah,

Gissele: no, thank you for mentioning that, because that has been my experience. for the longest time I grew up in a traumatized household, I would say like, my mom had a lot of, adversity. and I think my dad did too. so we grew up with those kinds of traumatic survival skills.

and for a long time, I really was looking externally for all those things that I needed. Right. Like, I didn’t feel lovable. I didn’t feel attractive. I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t feel safe and I didn’t feel supported. and as I started to do that for myself and show up for myself, my relationships with others transform, they started to give me that, which I was looking for, but then I didn’t need it anymore.

Gissele: I mean, you are grateful for it, but you don’t, which is what really showed me. That me, people are mirrors of us and they mirror to us all those things, which we are looking to heal within ourselves. Which can be a bit of a challenge when you’re having those conversations with people. Because number one, I know, I remember getting pissed off with myself.

Once I realized that when I started seeing things that I was attracting, that I didn’t like. And so it was much easier for me to say it’s so-and-so’s fault, or this is so-and-so is doing this then to accept that I, that my vibration and my own consciousness and my own thoughts were really attracting these negative things in my life.

But when I flipped it and was able to acknowledge the fact, well, if I attracted this, I could not attract it. I could attract the opposite. Then it started to feel a little bit more powerful.

Emanuelle: And that’s one thing, a lot of people actually are afraid oftheir power, , so when you said up first, you, it was easier to sort of just blame or whatever.

that’s actually, because nobody taught us how to fully embrace our power. And so there’s a lot of resistance and fear from the mind because it doesn’t feel safe stepping into its power. So our job is to gently, if we can create step-by-step just one, one day at a time, the space for us to feel comfortable, more being in our power than not.

Emanuelle: Because once that happens, then you will start making the decision to see that everything is a mirror. Then you start making a commitment to showing up for yourself and loving yourself. So, but the, the core work, what it does. We and a lot of clients that I work with, that’s what their fear is. Their fear of being powerful or, being seen or being full divine, true self.

I mean, we’ve been conditioned to separate ourselves from that divine thing. Like thinking, thinking it’s like this maybe man or something that’s like telling us we’re doing something wrong or right. But that’s a story created by man made, right. to keep us, not in our powerful self. So our job is to whatever it takes and sometimes it can, you know, some people are ready.

They’re like, yes. And I’ve seen those people and some people, you know, okay, let me put my tippy toe in the water and then gently and then take it out. And eventually you will get back into that space where it’s way more comfortable and enjoyable to be in your power and shine instead of giving your power away, like cookies or something, you know?

Yeah,

Gissele: definitely. can you just share, how will our listeners know if they’re in their power? Like how will they know or what things can they do to step up more into their

Emanuelle: power, the quickest way. And this is the most effective way are you in fear or not? So if something is making you afraid, then you’re giving your power away to it.

So let’s say you have a fear of Heights. The first thing I would do is choose to start laying the foundations to get over that fear of Heights. So whether it’s, you know, take, you know, going to stores, it’s two stories up and looking at a balcony or, you know, eventually going up to the highest building or whatever, just work your way up to it because your mind will say, no, no, no, no, no.

What it is is your mind is saying, I don’t want to feel the fear. It’s not the thing that you’re afraid of. It’s the fear that it’s bringing out that you don’t want to feel. So when you start to ask yourself, what am I afraid of and see where that’s being held in your body? Like the process we did earlier and just, you know, going through.

So let’s say most people at the core, there’s four fears. There’s the fear of being alone. The fear of death or ending something, the fear of, success and the fear of the unknown. So those are really the four fears. Anything else is just going to bring you back to that. So once you understand, and this is kind of like inner dialogue that I’ve had for many years, that if you are a spirit, if you are a being that has a spirit, your spirit is source.

It comes from source source knows everything. It’s the known it’s the unknown, but to our rational mind, it may seem unknown. So what if there really is no such thing as the unknown, because your spirit already knows everything. And your only job is to gently be present enough and kind of moving away from those parts of us that we’re not feeling the fear and all that.

Cause that’s, that’s the noise. That’s the distraction. I know whether people are drinking or watching bingeing things, whatever, if, and it’s all good. They’re allowed to do that, but only in a way that is not taking away from them feeling what needs to be felt and address what needs to be addressed. So if you are able to just use all of those fears that you have and the physical reaction that you have, and the resistance that you hear your mind has as gold as opportunities to come back to.

Okay, I’m going to sit with this fear of Heights. I’m going to sit with this fear that the world’s going to end. I’m going to just, whatever it is, just sit with it, give yourself at least 90 seconds. That’s usually about how long when you’re sitting with something, acknowledging it, being with it. You know, you might have some anger about that.

You might have some, helplessness, whatever. Just thank you. All the emotions coming up. They’re like your children. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Just take a deep breath and you just sit through it and then you’ll notice a release. You’ll notice. Ah, okay, wait a minute. So I feel a little bit better. And then what you do is you just keep going back.

let’s say you, it doesn’t have to be in that moment, but you can go back and say, what do I feel about when I think about going up in a high building or what do I feel like? when I, when my mind wants to think that the world’s going to end, oh, okay. I have a little step around it. Let me feel it.

Emanuelle: Let me go into that space until it softens. And then eventually you do that enough where you’re like. That’s not even really a fear I have anymore. Okay. You move on. And when you are fearless, you are the most powerful being on the planet because now you’re back in your true self, which is love and not the dysfunctional one that a lot of people think love is, but love, which is unwavering, unconditional it’s that life force energy that allows us to be all of us.

You are by acknowledging all your feelings by acknowledging all of it. Even if you have physical things that are going on, just sitting with it, being with it. That’s you being the greatest version of you to yourself, which is source. You have that in you, you have that wise ancient presence within you, and you can do that for the parts of you that are struggling.

You can do all of that at the same time. So it doesn’t mean like you’re not going to feel emotions anymore, but it means that you’re going to be that warm grandmother or grandfather, or like a presence that, or an Oak tree or something that’s just loving all of you, including the parts that were maybe a little in survival.

So that’s what would make you the most powerful person for you?

Gissele: Thank you so much in complete and full agreement. I think, my husband, David and I were talking about, and we talk a lot about like love and compassion, and I realized that if you, once you love yourself a hundred percent truly accept all of your philosophy, everything about you.

Well, no longer, you aren’t any longer giving away your power to other people. And really whether people come or go or things happen in your life, you’re still whole and complete because you kind of feed yourself from within, right. Like in you, and you can love people from your overflow, not from your reserves, right?

Yes. and, and I think that’s so important. I was going to say something, oh yes. I was gonna say something that I, I love that you said, because you reminded me something that I find really, really helpful in my journey, because I used to have a lot of health anxieties and a whole bunch of other. And then once I realized that I was spirit and spirit cannot be broken, it was like, it’s like the light went on mentally.

You was like, oh my gosh, I don’t have to fear death because I am immortal. I don’t have to, you know, feel like I’ve been scarred for life through these hurts that I’ve experienced or that I have scarred other people. There are also whole complete and perfect. and I think that is so, so powerful there.

Emanuelle: I, I say, that they are all your badges that brought you back to who you are. So even the, the scars, the trauma, everything was an opportunity for you to come back to yourself. you know, our spirit, I believe this, our spirit is very aware of what kind of experience this lifetime we’re going to have.

And our spirit doesn’t give us anything more than we can handle. And so if you’ve been through a lot, it just means that your spirit knew you could handle it. You’re overcoming it. And now you’re coming back to your true self. And, you know, you mentioned that when you get to a place where you truly love yourself and have compassion for yourself, I want the audience to know, and the listeners to know that it a daily

commitment. It’s not something that you let’s say do for a month, and then it’s going to be second nature for you. If something, because, there is a part of the brain that is still well there’s two brains. Actually the, original brain was the primal brain. And then there’s the cortex that comes over it.

Emanuelle: And the primal brain, you know, also needs to be stimulated. But the way we do that is through our five senses. And experienced this dimension. So like, let’s say, essential oils or smelling a flower or eating a delicious meal or spending time with someone in laughing. Like all those things are things that the, original brain really thrives off of.

But when it’s in the survival, that we’ve all kind of been conditioned to do a lot of the, survival takes precedent and it it’s kind of forgets that, oh, its original purpose was just to be on this third dimensional reality. but you also have a spirit, as you said, which is your multi-dimensional self and it’s always here and it’s always, speaking to you through your body, through your intuition, through your feelings, through your sensations, through your extra sensories.

So your, your original brain was very much about the five senses and then your higher brain, which receives divine intelligence and, and,consciousness, let’s say higher consciousness that is helping you tap into your extra sensories, like inner feeling, inner hearing, inner seeing. I mean, there’s people who have so many different gifts and when you combine the two, we’re not trying to get rid of the old were actually, Hey, come on.

We love you. And we’re going to work with. in a way that you feel safe instead of in a way that is taking away from you, your mind just wants to feel safe. Just wants to know that you have its back. And when you commit to that every day, and the way that I do that is, you know, in the morning I have my process and at night, but throughout the day, I just, check in how are you doing?

Is there anything that you need from me right now? Is there anything that needs to be acknowledged? Are you not feeling something? and then three things that I really appreciate and love about myself. You know, those are things that really helped me come back to loving myself. And, there’s so many different ways, but those are just some of the ways that I use.

Thank you.

I wanted to go back to what you had said about how. You know, and, and I’m sorry if I’m might not paraphrase it. Right. how we feel that, like our spirit knows what we can handle, because when I go back to today’s conversation, which is about, you know, like people whose behavior is hurtful.

Gissele: I think of children, I used to work in child welfare, as I mentioned before. So when you think about kids coming into those home environments where like the experiences are so terrible, it’s hard to believe that. And it’s hard to comprehend that when you see them so vulnerable and hurt, on the one hand we do do them a dis service by pitting them and feeling sorry for them because they are empowered beings.

And I see this even with my own children, like they’re very strong personalities. at the same time we can’t help, but want to love them and want to provide a safe,safe environment for them. Right. So how. balance those two thoughts of like understanding that those little people and those human beings are they’re spiritual beings and they’re here in a purpose and at the same time, there’s that desire.

And I think that’s what leads to the desire to punish right. The parents and people that are hurtful. how can we, how can we, can we ease that a little bit so that we can start to come together

Emanuelle: More? Yes, absolutely. that’s an important one because I hope a lot of people in, in that line of work, which God bless you all for for doing that.

it’s very important that they hear this, but basically, the first thing that I would do is understand the difference between, and you may have heard me say this, compassion and sympathy. So compassion, is a way of. Showing up and loving without seeing something as broken. So you see the wholeness and the perfection in it.

Emanuelle: So a lot of the stages like Jesus yet Buddha, like a lot of the saints, a lot of people who really like mother Teresa, what they were able to do is see something for what it is, which is, you know, maybe it’s not, optimal. Right? So like she worked in Kolkata . It was really, and then, but she didn’t see those people as broken.

So you see it from a space of, okay, I acknowledge what’s happening. This is not for the highest and best for this situation. So like, let’s say these kids are getting abused. I’m not gonna see these kids as broken, but I am going to take action. And make sure that whatever I can do to create a safe space for them to blossom and thrive is what I’m going to do.

So yes, we’re human and we’re going to have judgments and we’re going to say, you know, what these parents like, how could they, how dare they, whatever, the way that I work is w what is asking for our attention the most first the kids, right? So the children are the most important in that situation. How can we make that child feel safe?

That’s the first step. So we do that by taking action. If we need to remove the parent, whatever it is. So we create that space of safety and understanding and compassion. So we don’t condone what happened, but we don’t see them as broken. So that’s, that’s a lot of people get those confused sympathy, this kind of like.

What a lot of people are used to, it’s kind of like suffering with the person. You kind of lower your energy to kind of take on the suffering and the pain. And what happens is you’re actually doing them a disservice because they are going to not feel safe. So they, you think you’re doing something good by going into hysteria and anger and frustration or whatever, but you’re kind of showing them that it’s not safe to be around you either.

So your job is to be mindful that, okay, I’m going to take action. I’m going to make sure this child is safe, but I’m also going to be in a space of love and understanding and being a kind and to listen and to just be observing them. They are whole and perfect. Even if they don’t see it at the time, maybe there they have a journey, maybe have a few years to get there.

Maybe it’s a few months, you’re going to see it for them. That’s the greatest gift you can give them is to see them as happy, thriving and whole, because now you are a Buddha that’s holding space for them to step into, even if they can’t do it for themselves. Because as kids, sometimes you’re not taught how to do that for yourself.

So that’s the first step. The second step is to not Harbor hate and resentment towards their parents only because, or the people taking care of them because those people are acting in that way because of their traumas and their pain and their suffering. And it just kind of calcified, you know, as you get older and you’re not doing the work, you kind of become more rigid and you kind of give, becomes like, you know, calcium basically.

So. From that space. We don’t condone we don’t agree with we don’t a reward, but we can have compassion for them because we understand whether they were drinking and abusing their child or, you know, hitting whatever they were doing, what they were taught and they were traumatized and they just were kind of keep it going because they weren’t doing the work.

So, you know, when we’re angry and upset, we have to honor that, but we can’t expect them to be a way that we think they should be because we don’t know how the environment was for them to get to that point. So this is more internal. It’s not something you have to sit in front of them and be like, oh, I’m, you know, but it’s an internal forgiveness because if you’re not forgiving someone, if.

Hate or anger or something towards them. And you’re staying in it. You’re creating an attachment. You’re creating a cord, an energetic cord between you and that person. a lot of people talk about it when people have breakups, right? Like relationships, whatever. And you it’s really challenging because there’s a lot of chords there that needs to also be resolved.

But, the, when you have compassion for yourself, you go back to that process, the core work, you just, okay, this person’s making me so angry. I’m so upset that they treated these kids this way. Okay. Where do I feel that I feel it in my jaw? Like I get really like lock jaw, so, okay. I’m going to just sit with that.

I’m going to do it. And then if I have to tighten my jaw, just sit with it for at least 90 seconds, be in that space, be angry. And then, you know, you do that. Until, you know, sometimes it’s going to take a few times, sometimes it’s going to take a lot of times, but you do it until when you think about them, you, you have enough space and clarity that, oh my God, they were just doing what they were taught.

And if we can teach parents who haven’t had children yet, or other people who want to have children, how to be healing, their traumas and healing and dealing with a lot of their past stuff so that they don’t recreate them, then we can start making a difference. That’s when we can start shifting and all of that.

And that’s why I think this kind of work or even, therapy or whatever, is very important for people who are adopting or having children or being a foster parent, because they need to understand. What they’re feeling, how to move through it and have tools to help them really thrive so that they can be the best parent for that child.

That’s what I would recommend, but to get to that point, you know, obviously we have to do the work on ourselves

Gissele: Thank you. I appreciate it. What you said about forgiveness, because I think it’s so important, especially when you’re dealing with someone who you find hurtful to tend to those feelings, right.

To really kind of acknowledge and hold that space for yourself. because ideally in, in my experience is as well, is that when I can hold space for myself and have love for myself and release that, that the, you know, like you can go through forgiveness, when I’m able to hold love for that hurtful person, they will either leave or aligned to it.

So they, so they will relax more. They will, they were more likely to, to not act in the same hurtful ways. the, at least that has been my experience that when you meet people with love that they disarm, it gets, it’s sort of a different approach that you use with them and your energy. And how you feel in think about them comes before you’re even speaking to them, which is why a number of the people that we work with.

They know when someone isn’t authentic because their energy and their thoughts about them doesn’t match what they’re saying. They’re saying, oh yeah, you all, I really care about you. You’re a good person, but their, their thoughts don’t match. I did want to ask you something, which is more of a leaning question.

My husband and I have lots of conversations about compassion. And one of the things he says to me is, is it, and it sort of goes along with what you had mentioned is compassion is allowing all things to be. So if you perceive that, you know, if, if we are source or part of source, right. And even that we kind of go on the discussions about if you’re a part of source and there’s D so there, there, that means there’s divinity in everything there’s divinity in, in the, in the people that are being hurtful, there’s divinity in the systems that we’ve created.

and so from his perspective, there should not be any interference, unless it is requested, which is really challenging for the situation with kids. Right. And so he and I have lots of discussions about, well then how can you watch the world? Just, you know, be it’s racist. And, and I think from his perspective is, you know, you got to start with yourself, right?

Gissele: Like the more that you love, the more that people would become loving. So it’s really ultimately about us, but these are sort of tough right. It’s sort of puff to not want to, want to change things. Like I know that I struggle a little bit with it in terms of like, oh, I think these systems should be blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like the word should. Right. So what are your thoughts?

Emanuelle: Yes. Well, I’m, you know, I definitely lean in the middle between both because I do think everything is divine and there’s divinity and everything, and it has it’s. the way that it’s playing out as exact, but you being in a situation where, it’s being presented to you.

So let’s say, you know, this thing of these parents abusing this child comes to you and they show up at your desk. You’re part of that experience. Now you’re no longer, something getting in the way, because now the universe, or maybe that child, world unconsciously, you, the guardian angel, that you are into their experience to use some of these compassionate tools to help them.

So you are now part of the matrix, let’s say. and that’s why, you know, one thing that I am. Getting much better at, but I do struggle is when I see injustice or,the underdog, you know, like people getting bullied, abused or whatever, it’s very challenging because obviously, you know, we’ve all been through that, but at the same time, instead of being angry with the person, doing it, have compassion and love for them without condoning.

But, you know, having that space within me to like, okay, seeing them as getting through that and resolving and shifting their patterns and then also showing up for the person being abused, in a more active way. So I’m going to step in, I’m going to say, okay, if someone, if I see it on the street, I’m going to say something.

That’s just my nature. And maybe that is interfering, but I feel like. Street for a reason at that time to, you know, maybe an elderly person is being abused or something I’m going to say, and I’ve done that many times and you just say, if there a problem here, is there something going on? And then usually they immediately stop.

But if they don’t, you know, you just say, okay, well, what I do is I say, how it serving you to do that? What, is there something that you need from that person? And then one day, usually they don’t understand what I’m asking. So they’ll just say, oh, I don’t need it. And then they go, and that’s it. And then you help the person and that’s it.

So you both ways are right. There’s no right or wrong. Like they’re, they’re perfect. but do what feels the most you, because some of us are here to be a little more. Supportive of humanity to kind of, okay, come on. Like these are my kids. Come on, you go. Some of us are not some, some people are meant to just stay out of the way, not do anything.

So we’re not all the same. And that’s what we have to accept as well. Yeah.

Gissele: Just to clarify, my husband would be one of the first people that go, Hey, what’s going on? So he would be, I think what, we’re just trying to understand what we’re toying with mentally more so than actually actively. but through our work as well is how do you show up for people without an agenda?

And I think what we’re trying to get at is more like the. So for me when I, and just gotta use some example, personally, when I see somebody acting in a way that’s selfish, for example, I get triggered. But when I really think about it, it’s about me and my experiences and how I feel about the being on the receiving end.

So how can I show up for myself first and then for the other person in a way that they want to be supportive, then that’s more what he’s talking about. How did they show up in a way that doesn’t deep, deep in there have an agenda? And I know

Emanuelle: that. So just like everything else that we did, that triggered us before.

So if you’re feeling triggered when someone’s being selfish and it’s bringing something within you, that’s kind of reminding you of when you were treated that way, hold up. Where do you feel it? Sit with it before. Because all you need is 90 seconds and you’ll see. Oh, okay. And then make a decision from that space on the other side of it.

I think that that’s like the first step because that’s you rubbing yourself? the other thing that I would say is just, you know, let’s say there’s a part of you that is triggered and feeling a certain way about it. Be that parent to yourself, like, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry that you were treated that way.

Emanuelle: I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. That’s you now becoming the compassionate part to that inner child. That was just not knowing because they didn’t feel safe. They didn’t feel seen or loved or whatnot. now you get to be that for yourself. And as you do that, you’ll start noticing selfishness.

Okay. They’re allowed to be selfish. Yeah, that’s right. Yeah. Yeah.

I think one of the, correct me if I got this wrong, but were you a big fan of the conversations with God? ’cause I think it was you who introduced me to them. one of the things that Neale Donald Walsch talks about is that Hitler went to heaven. Right. And it’s still, it’s like trying to get our heads around that. On a soul level, there is no right or wrong, and that’s kind of boggles your mind that all of these things that we’ve determined as right or wrong, or really not right or wrong, but that really requires kind of a leaning in to the things that are, that feel hurtful.

Gissele: That feel just

Emanuelle: yuck. Well, when you start feeling those hurtful feelings, when you sit with them, when you be, so it’s like, again, I see it as a wise Oak tree and I have a place that I actually go and I sit under that when I’m feeling a certain way, that’s not feeling good. And I just let that tree hold a space for me.

Like that tree has been there for a hundred, maybe more years just holding space. I’m just going to sink into that and I’m going to ease into that. And so what happens is from that space, you start to see that all of your feelings, even the stuff that feels not so. Yes. Okay. And then you start to process and then you’ll start feeling them less and less because you’re not holding them anymore.

You start feeling, oh, this person cut me off while I was driving. All right. Maybe they have a baby to deliver or something, you know, instead of like, oh my God, I’m so upset. So this is sort of the next step for us to show up for ourselves in a way where all of us, including the most hateful and angry and judgmental and sad and depressed parts of us are being acknowledged because they’re all there.

And they, when we love them, they feel seen. And they no longer have power over us. And then we start connecting with our true self cause all those, our experience of, of ourselves, our true self has never been hurt, has never been harmed. It’s perfect. And one of the things that that book did for me growing up Catholic, for, for, you know, first part of my life, it really freed me from the idea that there’s sin and hell and heaven and, you know, it’s all perfect.

Like it’s all divine because, it was part of the process to get me back to my true self. Yeah.

Gissele: Oh, and what a beautiful way to end. Thank you. So, so much I’m cognizant of the time, and I’m so grateful for your time. I was wondering if you could share where people can find you, where can they find your YouTube channel?

Where can they find your services? what do you want to share with the audience? Well,

Emanuelle: first of all, I want to thank you for our time together. I’m so grateful you just so full of life and light. And, I know you’re touching so many people in the world, so thank you for your amazing work and your husband too.

and I want to thank the audience because. If you’re listening to this, that means you’re really doing the work on yourself. So, thank you as well. You can find me at, my website, which is just my name emmanueldagher.com. if you want to spell that out later, like on underneath or whatever, Emmanuel dagher.com and also also show social media platforms, YouTube, and Emmanuel Dagher TV.

Emanuelle: I think so. yeah, that’s, that’s about it. Thank you.

Gissele: Thank you so much. I love seeing your, monthly, energetic updates as well as your YouTube channel. People can check that out. There’s lots of healing and meditations and stuff people can do. I check it out regularly. Thank you so much Emmanuel for being with us.

Super, super grateful for you in this conversation. Thank you everyone for joining us and please join us soon. Don’t forget that there are transcripts available on our website, and, have a blessed day. Thank you.

 (c) Music: Mission Ready by Ketsa, 2019. No changes made. https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Ketsa/Raising_Frequecy/Mission_Ready  

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