Ep.27 Conversation with Kendra and Alison -Joy at home and at work.

Desire more joy in your life? Listen to Kendra and Alison talk about how joy can positively impact your personal life and your work life. We talk openly about some of the barriers to joy in this joy-ful conversation.
Transcript

Gissele: Hello and welcome to the love and compassion podcast. We believe that love and compassion have the power to change our lives in our world. Please, don’t forget to like, and subscribe to our podcast for more amazing content on today’s podcast.

We’ll be discussing. And during the holidays, it’s so easy to have joy because of the light and the family gatherings, but can we sustain joy throughout the year today, we’re going to speak to Kendra and Alison on how to sustain joy all year round through 2022. Alison Stuckey and Kendra George are co owners, intuitive mentor coaches, and corporate culture strategists with live love and joy.

They believe everyone deserves to live a joyous life with balance and purpose, live love and joy helps people create balance and joy in their lives. Guiding them to realize their full potential. Please join me in welcoming Kendra and Alison.

Gissele: Hi Kendra and Alison.

Kendra: Hello.

Alison: Good morning. Thank you so much for having

us.

Gissele: Thank you so much for being on the show. you know, joy is, one of my favorite topics, so I’m glad that we get to talk about it. I was just wondering if you could start by telling us what got you interested in, joy, and love in particular.

Alison: Well, the world needs more of it. We just, I think that the world in general, doesn’t appreciate things as much as we are meant to we’re so wrapped up in our lives and we just go through our day by rote. And every time that we see something, we don’t necessarily have the time to appreciate it, to find the joy in the little things throughout our day.

I’m one of those people. If I’m on a walk, I will stop and literally smell the roses. I will take pictures of stunning, silly little symmetrical flowers that. I just, I find them so beautiful and stunning, and it just warms my heart. When I see that I will compliment somebody on the street, because that could be the best thing that they’ve heard all day.

It’s finding those things, bringing that joy, watching things, laughing, bringing that love into your heart. That laugh, that, that happy into your mind, your soul answer, every fiber of your being. It’s just something that we are meant to have, and that we, especially in the Western world have lost over timeSo what we find is that even for myself, I can get so caught up in the day-to-day, the rushing, the doing the, getting the list done that I don’t, I don’t stop to smell the roses. I don’t stop to find joy in, in the little thing. Right. Like, anything that makes you smile really? So it’s going to be different for everyone.

Kendra: So some things I would say are, across the board, if someone, if someone’s smiles, smiles at you or says hi or waves, even just in a walk, that’s what I noticed. Do you notice when you’re out going for a while? Some people are looking to have eye contact with you. They’ll give you a wave. They’ll give you a smile.

They’ll give you a hello. some people may be not, but you can still say hello and they look up and they smile. and then there’s others. Do you notice when you’re out for a walk? Their head is down there. First of all, I don’t know how they don’t walk into something, but, There, there’s no engaging and I’ll try, I’ll try hello.

And they don’t hear me, whatever. And I just think, I think, well, I’m happier for saying hello to you. And I silently wished them a great day because I think you’re heavy. You feel heavy right now. Whatever’s on your mind. So I think when, when both Alison and I think, Joy we think of the world. Can you imagine a world where every single person found at least one piece of joy in their day.

It’s just, it’s just mind blowing.

Gissele: Thank you so much. that’s really beautiful. and you know, it’s so interesting, you know, I love how you both started with something small, right? Like whether it be, something that is something that catches your attention, something that, you know, taking the time out to actually, be more mindful.

I have to share a funny story. So growing up, I was actually kind of the person who, would probably not make eye contact with people. Cause that’s what I was taught. Right. Like I lived in Toronto for a little bit. And like, you didn’t really talk to people. You were just kind of walking

So when I actually started dating my now husband, him and his family would go around, walking down the street, be like, Hey, how are you? And I’m like, do you know that person. And he’d be like, no, I’m just saying hi to them because they’re human being and I’m like, are you people crazy?

What’s wrong with your people? Because I was so programmed. Not to see anybody else’s humanity. Everybody else was a danger. So to me, it was just like, I’m protecting myself, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for anything. And so to have that experience of people going around, like you mentioned, like you’re just joyful right?

Like you’re seeing another human being you’re spreading it, but I was like, what the hell is wrong with these people? I’m like, who did I, who am I dating? Like, so a lot of the people who might be encountering, maybe feeling that way.

Kendra: Though, Well, I think you bring up a really good point, which is, how were you raised?

Yeah. Right? Like it’s were you raised in a happy house? Were you raised to find joy in things to celebrate or were you raised in a house where it was, work, work, work, get it done. Serious, that kind of thing. And there’s no right or wrong answer. It’s. It’s just the awareness now that if you aren’t feeling joy in your life.

Okay. Maybe that is because, because that’s how I was raised. You are the perfect example of you can change. Would you like more joy in your life? I think, I think if we, I think a hundred percent people would say yes, if you ask them, would you like more joy in your life? Yeah. Yeah.

so I was raised in an environment where, I was taught not to trust. And so, and I was also taught to look at the negative. so, and this is not purposeful. Like my parents were doing the best they can and their parents were doing the best they can.

but I was taught really not to so much focus on the positive, but always look out for the negative. Right. So where’s the potential danger so that we can prepare ourselves. So joy wasn’t exactly anything that we were really, it reinforced. So like you said, it, I did have to kind of reprogram my brain to start doing the appreciation.

Gissele: So for someone who’s starting out, what would you recommend for them in who may have that kind of mentality that I did at the time, which was. People are not to be trusted there isn’t because there’s so much fear in the world, right? Like there’s so many, there’s so much division. where can they actually start to tap into those joyful moments?

And I know you mentioned kind of like start with the mindfulness, right? Like start looking at little things. What else could they do to kind of start to tap into that joy?

Kendra: Well, I’m thinking if, if you’re wary of people. Don’t don’t do people to start. Right? So if it, because, because I find it builds and builds and builds.

So if you’re starting from scratch, I’m not going, I’m not saying go out and say hello to every single person you see, because that will, that will make you tense and worried, and there will be no joy in it. So I think it’s like Alison was talking about. find the little tiny pieces of joy in your day.

It might be your morning tea, that first sip you have it. And oh my gosh, it will feel it. It warms your body. You know, I feel like going down my throat into my body, it warms my. My, my whole body. I’m so happy versus chugging your tea down, burning your throat, burning your tongue, that kind of thing. We’re not saying you need to change your day or, because, because eventually you will, you will add in new pieces in what you do right now.

Where is the joy? it can be opening your email on a Monday morning. And there’s only two emails there versus 35 that there is usually right. It is. I find huge joy in sunshine, not going to lie. Those great days are a real challenge for me. I have all the lights on in the house, the sunshine for here, where we are today, it is gorgeous and the sun is streaming in my window.

That I pause. I look at it. I’m grateful for it. Thank you for the sunny day, I feel the joy, right? So it’s, I think finding, finding those little things in what you do already. Alison?

Alison: Yeah,

absolutely. It’s appreciating taking the moment, the moment to appreciate it. It could be five seconds. It could be 30 seconds.

It could be five minutes, but taking that time to really let it settle within you, that that fuels you with happiness with laughter or heartless. Whether it’s food, whether it’s looking at something, we have five, we have more than five senses, but we have five senses that we, you can taste something. It can bring you joy, you can smell something, it can bring you joy.

It can bring you back to a memory, looking at something, hearing something, touching something. Use your senses because we’ve been desensitized so much now that we don’t use our senses, we don’t hear things that are joyful a baby laughing or kids playing. How wonderful is that to be back in that moment of childhood?

to see something, we look, if you’re sighted, you see things throughout your entire day. Is it a color? Is it a, image? Is it a piece of nature? What gives you that little happy makes you smile? The edges of your, your mouth tip up. Because it just gives you that heartwarming feeling

Kendra: within you.

Gissele: Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that.

I think you’re both mentioning some key things such as you had mentioned mindfulness before but gratitude is so important, being grateful for the moment and I think one of the things that I think trips us up sometimes is that we’re so busy, right? You both, both had mentioned people’s busy-ness is that or taught that busy-ness.

Gissele: Is equal to value. So if we are super busy, then we don’t really have time. I don’t really have time to look at that flower because I’m going there. I don’t really have time to have this joyful and enjoy the sunshine because I’m thinking about the next thing. So we’re constantly in the future. So I think that’s why mindfulness and gratitude are so important.

one of the things that I have discovered in myself, I’m curious as to what you guys think is that in moments where I’m experiencing the most joy, like even when it’s like, I’m dancing to a song and it’s like super fun and super joyful, I will catch myself and be like, oh, I’m having so much joy, but what about the people that are suffering?

Gissele: Like what about the, like, it’s that it’s that. Oh, you can only max out so much joy because people are suffering and it’s that, it’s so funny how we limit our joy that way. Right? Like, and I’ve caught myself doing it when I was like, feeling super, super grateful to be alive and for everything that I have, and then I’m like, Oh, should I be having this much joy?

What are your thoughts?

yeah, this is I’ve, I’ve experienced that myself. I have a very good friend whose, whose daughter is very, very sick and so I know what she’s going through. And then I think, and then I go and do something fun with my friends or I go out or that kind of thing. And there’s that guilt in there.

Kendra: And I think what we need to realize is that. If we all brought ourselves down to that level of sadness unhappiness, can you imagine the world? So if by us being happy and appreciating what we’ve been given. we will get more and when we have more, we can do more. So I think in this case, if I’m happier, my business is more successful.

My personal life is more successful. There’s more money coming in. If there’s more money coming in, I can donate to cancer research where maybe they can find a cure for my friend’s daughter. Right. Versus if I go down to that level and, and I’m sad and despondent and helpless, I’m not helping anyone. I’m not helping myself.

And I’m not helping though. I’m, I’m not helping the person that I’m thinking of who isn’t as high. So I really think we, we owe it to the universe. We owe it to the world to be as happy and high vibration as we can be.

Gissele: Awesome.

Alison: It also helps that person, if you can go to them at a higher level of emotion, a higher level of energy, that will bring them up.

Even if they’re low because they’re not serving anybody. If they’re remaining in that low, that low energy. So the more we can be appreciative and joyful, the higher energy, we are going to have the higher emotions, the better emotions we’re going to have, the more positive emotions we’re going to have.

And that will just domino out to other people. So if we can stay in that high appreciative, joyful, happy, the, the level where, where we can satisfy herself when we are only ever responsible for ourselves, we cannot inflict anything on anybody. If they are in the low vibration, the sadness, the grief, whatever it may be, that’s where they are.

We can influence them, but we can’t change them. We can only change ourselves. So if we can be in that joyful place in ourselves, we are at a better place for everybody around us, because it’s going to, it’s like a pinball that ricochets. Everything you touch is going to be a bit, be effected by you. So if you’re joyful, everything you touch is going to get a little spark of joy as well.

We can never influence somebody’s will and press upon them and influence them. Openly and forcefully, but we can do it unconsciously through their spirits. So if we can just let them see that it will somehow permeate them and lift them up, even if it’s just a little bit better

Gissele: for everybody.

Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. so as, as Kendra was speaking, I was thinking about the difference between empathy and compassion, right? we see empathy as like, you know, you kind of, you see a person, you know, you’re on rowing on a boat and you see a person drowning and you kind of decide to go in the lake and drown with them.

Right. Whereas compassion is more like you stay on the boat and, you know, you tried to help them up. or you give them the opportunity to come on. And I think that’s what you were talking about, Alison, which is like, you know, it doesn’t help them for us to drown with those individuals. Like it, it helps that for us to show our light and we can either physically help someone by, you know, giving donating money or we can help them just by being in that joy because the person then maybe take a, takes a break from their suffering.

So I do appreciate what you said about that. Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk a little bit about, cause I know that some of the things that you do are you also help bring joy into the workplace. and so, What is it that you emphasize? Cause you know, joy and workplace really aren’t always associated together.

you know, if there should be an association, right.  but usually joy in the workplace really aren’t things that are come together. So do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Kendra: Yeah, we.

We all exactly you w I heard you use the word should, right. And, and should we, don’t like the word should you should, you know, should on each other, that kind of thing, it would be ideal if every single person who has a job was passionate about it and loved it. the, the reality is that is rarely, rarely the case.

we are finding right now that a lot of people are. Are now leaving their jobs to look for that perfect fit, which is fantastic. we, when we started with our corporate culture strategy, it was, it was the discussion we had. Can you imagine if everyone who has jobs was happy. Can you imagine the ripple effect that it would affect their job?

Kendra: It would affect their families, their community, the world. So it was, the idea is not, we are going to show you how to fall in love with your job. We are going to show you how to fall in love with your life. when I, when I was working corporate, Did I love my job. No. Was I good at it? I was amazing at it.

Right. Like I was, I was efficient. I was productive, all that kind of thing. I didn’t mind going to work, but I certainly did not have a passion. I went because of the paycheck for sure. 100%. I do remember one time, I was made the chair of the United way campaign and that involved back in the day, I’m not sure what they do now back in the day was, events and fundraising in your office.

And I would, I was able to go to the United way meetings during the day. When I was getting paid for my company and I was also able to plan events and hold events during the Workday. That was fantastic for me. I loved that. I jumped out of bed. I knew I was going to enjoy it. So what we do is we get right down to helping people, helping the employees, the management.

Learn what their core values are because most people do not know what their core values are. So it’s a case of helping them figure out we have an assessment tool. We use helping them find out what their core values are, how they are living in a line. With their core values. And then the key for the workplace is showing them how their core values align with the core values of the company.

And it might be something tiny. So the core value of the company might be, help others. And my core value might be serving. And that might be the only, the only alignment we see for this employee, but we give them, steps, con concrete steps and strategies. So it might be simply something as simple as what if you organize a food drive once a month with your work, you know, and I think if someone would have said that to me back in the day, I love that.

I love that idea. That gets me jazzed. That gets me happy. That feels like I’m living my purpose. And then when I’m happy like that, I go home and maybe I take my, my kiddo to play ball when, before I didn’t, because I was so tired. So uninspired I’d come home on the couch, not wanting to do anything. So now all of a sudden my child is having.

He, or she goes to school happier, happier around those kids. Those kids are happier. The teachers happier teacher has a better date. Like the ripple effect is just, is, is, Alison.

Alison: It’s not about being joyful. I love my job every moment of the day. It’s raising that awareness

Kendra: that

Alison: you, number one, don’t have to be the Debbie downer of the office because there’s some going to be something, even if it’s minute for five minutes a day, that you absolutely love that brings you.

And it’s finding those little things that usually people are unaware of because they’re so into routine. I have to be at my desk at this time. This is when I have lunch. This is what I have to get done. I have to talk to these people. I have these meetings and it’s so scheduled out that there’s no time.

For them to internalize it, to process it, to be aware of it. When there is something, is it a five minute walk around the block? Is it going down and getting something you absolutely love for lunch? Is it meeting with a friend or talking with a friend on a break? So it’s very, very small little things that can bring people.

This.

Gissele: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I love what you guys said about aligning with the values, because I think that’s important because I think that’s what happens in a lot of workplaces that I know that we’ve worked with, which is like people are living their values. Like th th

Kendra: they go to.

Gissele: Business because they, they think they have the same values and the business says that they espouse those values, but they’re not living them on a daily basis. Right. Like they have drifted so far away from their values that, and there’s that kind of internal discourse, right? Like they say that, well, the business thing says they spouses, and then this is my, but this is my reality.

which they’re sort of contributing to with their own, you know, feelings and emotions and perspective,for those that believe that you kind of create your own reality. Right. and so it’s, I love the idea of kind of aligning that and even finding that joy in small moments. in terms of, the leadership, sometimes they have a hard time living within their values, right. Because, and I think that’s what, how do you help the leadership find joy within kind of the, kind of a workplace, right? Because I think sometimes.

Gissele: There, there are worries around. I need to generate money. I need to make sure that people are doing what they’re supposed to do. So there’s a lot of worries that happen in Seoul. It might be difficult for them to take the time out to do those small moments and have that kind of perspective. how do, how can we help them shift, that to incorporate greater joy in the, in the people they work with and for, and in the clients they work with.

Kendra: I think it is, it, it is the exact same thing. We sit down with them core values, you know, are you, are you living your core values? How are they aligned with the company? So it’s, and then probably a more in depth conversation with them. Do you really want to be a better leader? Do you really want more joy?

Because if you do. Really want that it’s not going to trickle down. So it’s, another thing we do is we absolutely start with the leadership and then it is great to do, to get the teams together because then leadership can see what’s important to their team. And the team can see what’s important to the leadership and the leadership really, when they are on board and they are conscious of it and it could go, it could go as high as, as the CEO or the owner and maybe the owner.

Again, it goes to the awareness that we’re always talking about, maybe the owner, we look at their core values and say, okay, well, this is what you you’ve decided. The company core values are. And they might look at it and say, oh, we’re not living that at all. Or they might say time to redo the core values, that kind of thing.

It really is. buy-in that the, the leadership wants to keep their employees. They want their employees to be happy and yeah, they want to make money. They, all of that kind of thing. It’s helping them be aware that the joy like joy equals productivity equals better bottom line. Hmm.

Gissele: And what I love about joy particular in thank you for sharing that is that I find that in the moments when I’m my most joyful and most relaxed things, just kind of magnetized to me, which is sort of like interesting because I don’t think people realize that that in the times when I’m most stressful and making him forcing things to happen, that’s really when they don’t happen.

Whereas when I’m in the present moment and really kind of being in the joy in the yumminess of being alive and grateful, things just kind of gravitate to you. They come out of nowhere and you’re like, holy Molly. You’re right. And so there is a benefit to, to being joyful.

we, I have a few minutes left and so I wanted to ask, if you could share where people can find you.

Kendra: Okay, so ready for this. It’s a really fancy website name, www.liveloveandjoy.com. I know we like to keep it simple on this. We have information. We have, we have everything on there that we do. We have information on it.

We have a membership site that we’re super excited about. LLJ connect, where we have lots of fantastic contributors. so we have our website, our Facebook group. We would love to have people in the Facebook group again, live love and joy, live love, and. On Facebook and we do, we do lots of fun things in there and really do our best to add value and lift you up.

And Instagram is live love and joy. 1, 1, 1, 1. So again, just a different platform and we are on LinkedIn as well. So, we would love probably the easiest is to join us on our Facebook group to start. And, and then you can find, find out all the things we are doing.. Thank

Gissele: you. Thank you so much. We really appreciate the time you have shared and thank you for helping us spread joy any last minute thoughts around how we can keep joy in 2022 to helping people just kind of stay joyful.

Alison: I think the key is stay in the moment. Appreciate the moment. Take the time. Just even schedule it in. You can’t change it unless you’re aware. So if you don’t have those joyful moments and you’re just on a very rigid schedule or a go, go, go schedule, take the time. If you know, you’re passing a garden, take the time and stop.

Even if it’s for five minutes, you can do anything for five minutes put a plant on your desk.

Gissele: Yeah. Well, if you, unless you kill them, I’m terrible with plants, but I’m great with pets, I’m great with pets!. Anyways. Thank you so, so much Kendra and Alison for helping us spread joy, And we will see you

Kendra: Thank you so much

Alison: for having us.

Gissele: Thank you.

(c) Music: Mission Ready by Ketsa, 2019. No changes made. https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Ketsa/Raising_Frequecy/Mission_Ready

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