[00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome to the Love and compassion Podcasts with Gissele. We believe that love and compassion have the power to heal our lives in our world. today’s guest is Dr. Marni Hill Foderaro, an award-winning, celebrated author, speaker, and educator. She earned her doctorate degree in education from Northern Illinois University and completed post-doctoral studies at Harvard after a very successful and rewarding 35 year career as a high school special education teacher with 12 years as a university adjunct
Gissele: graduate school Professor. Marni’s Life was forever changed after experiencing numerous trauma induced STEs spiritually transformative encounters. Marnie’s 2020 Best book award winning spiritual fiction. God came to My Garage Sale is prominently endorsed by James Redfield, bestselling author of the Celestine Prophecy’s Books.
Latest prominently endorses five book series is entitled True Deceit False. [00:01:00] Which addresses domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, parental alienation, and intergenerational family trauma. And in January, 2022, Marni was inducted into the bestselling authors International Organization. Congratulations and welcome, Marni.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Oh, thanks. Thanks, Giselle.
Thanks for having me on your show.
Gissele: Thank you for being on the show. I was wondering if you could start telling the, the listeners a little bit about how you can to actually write the book. God came, came to my, garage sale.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Sure I’d be happy to, You know, I, had made the choice to kind of leave my American dream and, you know, leave a, a marriage after 27 years and, you know, in the midst of losing everything, you know, my home, my money, my assets, even adult children to parental alienation, you know, I had to have a garage sale and, You know, instead of being sad or angry, you know, or having any negative feelings, [00:02:00] I was actually just in a state of gratitude and thankfulness for the experiences that I had.
And even though I was leaving this beautiful home, I had amazing memories there in raising my two children. But anyway, I had this garage sale, and in the midst of that experience, You know, around that time I had some spiritual miracles that I, later with research came to learn. They were called STEs, which are spiritual transformative experiences or encounters and they were just amazing and it gave me the reassurance that.
I had made the right decision for myself, for my safety and my wellbeing, but that I also was surrounded by love and, in fact all of the spiritual experiences I had and have con and continue to have, they are just filled with unknowing of [00:03:00] love. And compassion and and it’s just wonderful. So I just like many people who have had some of these life changing experiences, I was compelled to share some of these stories.
And I chose to write a spiritual fiction called God Came to My Garage Sale, and here is the book. And, you know, it won some awards because I believe it really resonated with some people. and it was a different way, even though it’s a spiritual fiction, it was all based on true accounts that inspired the stories.
And, most of them were mine. But
I came to write that my first book, that spiritual fiction.
Gissele: Yeah. That’s so beautiful. and thank you so much for sharing that. you had the American dream, right? Like you had the house, the career, the, the, the husband, and it all kind of suddenly was taken away.
And so can you talk a little bit about what it felt like, because I think the, your journey towards [00:04:00] that fateful day of gratitude was not necessarily an easy.
Dr. Marnie Hill: No, and I don’t think any of us have easy journeys. I just think that how we respond to any life’s challenges to the adversities really can make or break our happiness and, you know, how we move forward with the traumas that we experience, you know, So, you know, Yeah, I, I had.
You know, 2.5 children, white picket fence, you know, gazebo in the backyard situation. luckily I, I maintained my wonderful teaching career, so I was able to retire three years ago from a 35 year career as a special ed teacher. 12 of those years I was university adjunct graduate school professor. So I really, you know, throughout my.
Kind of American dream. I continued to maintain my employment, which was, you know, a very good [00:05:00] thing. but you know, I realized one fateful day that I needed to escape my marriage. And, you know, I had red flags even before I got married, you know? My gut intuition saying, Don’t marry this person. He’s not honest, you know?
but I wanted to have a family so bad and I was just love bomb to believe that, you know, this would be a perfect match. And, and I went along for years and years, just, you know, Kind of, I think I got myself so busy with raising the kids and working full time and just, you know, enjoying life and, and you know, pursuing an advanced degree and that type of thing.
Dr. Marnie Hill: I was just busy. And so when some of these glaring, deceitful inconsistencies, you know, were presented to me, You know, I just, I just ignored them like many people do. but then there came a time where I could no [00:06:00] longer ignore them. And, it was a very scary moment because I, I, in fact, it kind of made me go silent.
for someone who’s usually likes to talk things out and. Communicate. I knew that there was, there was no, changing my mind about what I have seen, what I heard, what I have experienced, that this was so unhealthy and did not align with my values of love and compassion and honesty and goodness.
Dr. Marnie Hill: And so I, I made the decision to file for divorce. And, little did I know that, you know, people that, wanna keep up a false narrative will, pursue you and harass you and stalk you for years and years and years. Because they are obsessed with your destruction because they, they want to turn the whole story around, with a false narrative, complete false narrative.
But as a result, you [00:07:00] know, of this smear campaign, you lose everything. You lose, First of all, what you thought was your reality wasn’t. The reality as far as your safety and security, your home, your, you know, that type of thing. But also the relationships, in your life, friends, family, neighbors, they have all been fed this false information as well.
And even though you think Actions would speak louder than words you would think. it’s not always the case, but you know, all of these things are blessings and disguise because really you don’t want people in your life that are dishonest. You don’t want people in your life that you know, believe a false narrative, even though they’ve.
Experience something different. So as hard as these challenges were, they, they were blessings. And I only wish love for everyone, even my abuser. I just wish him, and all the flying monkeys, the people that kind of went along and, and then also the other people I discovered [00:08:00] didn’t have true intentions. I just wish everybody.
And peace. And you know, I’m learning very late in my life, but I’m learning how to put up some boundaries and boundaries. Doesn’t mean that you, you know, want to do it in a spiteful way or revengeful way, or, you know that you’re putting someone else down. It’s more just protecting yourself.
Thank you for sharing that. You said so many, really wonderful things. I wanted to go back to the, the first good point that you made, which really was about not listening to your intuition. And we do that so often and usually the results are so terrible when we don’t . and the other point that you had made was sometimes, we get so busy that we don’t, we don’t realize the things we hadn’t been neglect.
Yeah. And we
Dr. Marnie Hill: neglect ourselves.
Gissele: Yeah. Abso, absolutely. why do you think in general, like we really don’t listen to that intuition in that we can get away [00:09:00] so far away from ourselves?
Dr. Marnie Hill: You know, that’s a really good question. you know, I just think that we as good, loving, empathetic people because we are that way, we tend to think that the people we surround ourselves with also have those same values.
So I think that we might be doing a little projecting as well, you know? In a positive way though, we try to give people the benefit of the doubt. We, we try to see the good in people. We try to, you know, almost to the point of making excuses, for bad behavior. But we want the best. And then also if their children involved, you know, you, you really want stability and you know, a peaceful home for them.
But I’ll tell you, you know, even though it’s been very traumatic, the decision that I made in that I lost my two adult children to parental alienation. I believe that I’m still to this day, role modeling [00:10:00] as a mother that it’s very important to, honor yourself and to be true to yourself and your values.
And if I were to have stayed and status quo and put up with, the, so many. inappropriate and, unethical things that I was witness to that would be giving such a wrong message. And, being a mom. was, and is the biggest, most wonderful experience in my life.
And so even though I physically don’t have my children in my life, I, I still believe that, you know, someday they can look me up and say, Wow, well mom, mom really did speak the truth. But, you know, it took me so long for my light bulb to go on, and I think it gets back to what you were saying. We don’t follow our gut intuition, which is really telling us, you know, trying to give us guidance.
You know, if something just doesn’t feel right or sit [00:11:00] right, please, please, please pay attention to it because there, there’s a reason for that feeling.
Gissele: Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, there’s always this, I mean, we perceive this 3D reality, but there are things beyond this 3D reality and they’re always.
Beings and, and you know, like our higher self and trying to help us and assist us and guide us into a positive thing. And so that inner voice really is our, like our inner compass. Mm-hmm. . And I think sometimes so often we don’t hear it because we’re afraid. We think, Oh no, this, we have to make this work because this is how we believe this is what we believe we should have or, or how things should be.
Right. Right. I wanted to also talk about, the other point that you had made, which I thought was really, really key, which is, from a compassion perspective, giving people the benefit of the doubt is a compassionate thing to do. However, without boundaries, I think you can really go into the whole be not being a match for someone.
Mm-hmm. . And so I think boundaries and I, I don’t think people can [00:12:00] connect the two. It’s important to give people the benefit of the. However, if once they start to cross, it’s important for us to have compassion for ourselves and honor ourselves as well by having good boundaries. and I think, Well, why do you think it’s so challenging for people to have good boundaries?
Dr. Marnie Hill: and it is, it’s, it’s been a big challenge for me. You know, I’m 60 years old and I’m just finally feeling the strength to exert some boundaries. And of course, it’s going to be perceived negatively because, you know, the people that want the chaos and the confrontation looking at things.
With, you know, a negative lens. They wanna keep that kind of narrative going when, you know, I don’t, I, I want to live in honesty, love, and light. So I, I think that it is very challenging, you know, for us to, to put boundaries up. Part of it could be our conditioning, I think at some. [00:13:00] In our healing journey, we need to take time to not only kind of reflect on where we’re at now, but also to reflect on where we were.
What was our childhood experiences, What were some of the trauma bonding and family dynamics that made us. Be, you know, contribute to us being an over giver or accepting of bad behavior and not putting up the boundaries. Always seeking for approval and, and love when really all we had to do was really look within ourselves and we could get that reassurance.
Gissele: Yeah. Oh, thank you for sharing that. and it’s so true in our experience, it, it really is. Going inward to be able to give that towards ourselves, which we are looking for externally. And as long as we continue to look for it externally, we’re never gonna find it.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Right, And you know, the abusers and toxic negative people, you know, they are very externally motivated.
They don’t [00:14:00] have that kind of inner compass to say, Hey, wait a minute, I’m really hurting someone here. You know, they don’t do that. In fact, you know, my True Deceit false love series, it’s a five book series. All of the images are of an abuser with a mask on their face and the mask slipping.
So I think that that contributes as well, because these people that we have, you know, come in contact with, not only are they. Personality disordered, you know, they do have a condition, that’s not readily acknowledged. Myself, you know, staying in some relationships for years and decades, you know, even with some friends and, and, and with some family you believe, Oh, well they’re your family. You have to do this, You should do this.
Well, you know, wait a minute. At some point you need to. You know, decide whether this is healthy for you. And actually when you put up some boundaries and [00:15:00] step back, some, it kind of might contribute to them having to reevaluate themselves and how they interact and what they say and do. And so maybe indirectly, you, you are spreading this, goodness and honesty.
Flight, you know, in a very indirect manner to other people. Yeah. Yeah.
Gissele: I love that you said that. cuz from my perspective, it’s, it’s very similar in the sense that I feel like, you know, from my experience, hurt people, hurt people. It’s almost like it just flows right out of them and, and their, in order for them to control whatever hurts happening, like you said, they’re so externally driven, they need to control their outside environment.
Need other people not to feel or react or do so that they can feel better. But if they only understood that the power was within, I think we definitely help them on their healing journey. But we’ve been so socially conditioned that, you know, like this is how we’re supposed to gain [00:16:00] love and affection in, in.
So it can be, it can feel a little bit challenging.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Right. And luckily it’s not our job to fix other people or correct them or, or we don’t go around saying, Our way is the only way, you know, we just, it, you know, it’s when you, when you go through some of these situations and you take time to reflect and, and you know, do some of the inner work.
You know, I think we can only control ourselves in what we do. We, we can’t control other people, nor should we want to control other people. Let everyone has their own journey on this earth, you know? And like you said, you know, we’re in a 3D world here and I’ve really come to believe in more dimensions and.
That has given me the reassurance and piece that there is, there’s some reasons for all of these life lessons that even though they are hard, we can get through ’em and then our voices matter. Like your platform [00:17:00] is wonderful. To have a podcast devoted to love and compassion is just so awesome. And the ripple effect you are having.
and these conversations are happening, You know, I don’t think we’ll ever fully comprehend that we could be reaching people around the world that needed to hear this conversation and needed to hear just even a part of a message to give them the strength to. Put those boundaries up and to, to start, you know, making some decisions about their life.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Yeah.
Gissele: Wow. thank you for sharing that. I, I also wanted to, reiterate the really important point that you had made, which is, sometimes by really standing in our own authority, And really saying, providing proper boundaries, we are helping other people. Yeah. I truly believe that those people don’t wanna be hurtful cuz they don’t also don’t wanna hurt.
and so by being our authentic selves, really stepping up [00:18:00] into our own power and saying, No, I’m gonna be compassionate to myself. I can still love you far,
Dr. Marnie Hill: far away, .
Gissele: Right, right. I still wish you well from far away and if I can’t love you, then. Not get in the way of other people who can love you. Right.
Right. Then I can actually just show you and show other people, how they can also do that for themselves, and I think that’s what you’re doing with this work. Mm-hmm. , you’re standing in your own authority and shining your light. And showing other people that they can too, which
Dr. Marnie Hill: is why. Right, And I’ll, I’ll tell you, you know, I, my, our voices matter and I have found that, you know, words are significant and I’ve been so blessed to be able to have the opportunity to write.
And, and get some of these thoughts out there. Not so much in an autobiographical way, more in a way that you know anyone, it doesn’t matter what gender or what role you are. they could pick up these books and they could [00:19:00] glean some, you know, hope and inspiration. As well as maybe some knowledge. I mean, I started out before I wrote the five book series, just trying to gain knowledge to learn what was I dealing with, And then once you get into the literature or hear other speakers and podcasts, you know, you really learn that there’s.
You know, a whole area of research regarding this type of behavior, you know, as well as parental alienation, which, you know, so many wonderful fathers and mothers experience, and then the kids are almost damaged for life until they could possibly have their aha, light bulb moment. You know? So, but I, I’ve just, in my own creative way, I’ve tried to bring awareness to some of, Situations.
but also from a perspective of love, you know, because I believe love is the highest vibration and, you know, it [00:20:00] transcends everything.
Gissele: Agreed, Agreed. and also thank you for mentioning the, the whole issue of parental allion because you’re right, it is moms and dads every, like in lots places are being isolated from their children.
And I don’t think. You know, I’m gonna make it a little bit more or more of a global comment if you actually have you reflected on the fact that this is how we deal with our hurt. We separate and isolate. We send people to jail. We, you know, mental institutions, you know, like, and with
Dr. Marnie Hill: false acts. I mean, most of these are calculated, manipulative strategies because of the, the financial.
Means, or the connections they have, but they’re the, the drive of these people to just inflict pain on other people. And when they’re doing that, they don’t realize that the people that are really damaged are their own children.
Gissele: Yeah. Yeah. And it’s so funny because I [00:21:00] believe that we are all interconnected.
So really they’re hurting themselves. Yeah. Yeah. They’re not really opening up to the potentiality of being able to. Be in love and in forgiveness. In, in, in right. A larger kind of circle.
and you know, when they obsess on other people, even though they’ve moved on in other relationships, you know, other jobs, other places, they are kind of stuck because of their obsession, their need to destroy.
Dr. Marnie Hill: So it can be years and years and years after they are still stalking and harassing, you know, the. Someone when really they’re, they’re not taking the time to spend with, you know, the new people that they’ve surrounded themselves with. So that, so they really lose out, that they lose out themselves. You know, I’m, I’m so fortunate.
I, I really came to an understanding of all of this and it was very painful and the losses are real. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but I also moved from a lifetime in the Chicago suburbs to the [00:22:00] Caribbean the last three years. So I am, you know, a change of scenery and adventure and opportunities. Really being closer to nature and you know, has also brought me closer to God or to source or, you know, so it’s, it’s just, been very healing where I’ve been able to, to move on, you know, and someone might say, well, Are you really moved on?
Cuz you’re talking about this. Oh yeah, I have. But I think that our voices matter. It’s important to reflect on this to, to bring awareness cuz it is, it’s a, it’s a long journey to heal from trauma like this. But I’d like to say, you know, I, I think we’re always on that journey. I, I don’t think that people are ever completely healed with whatever they’re experiencing, but boy have I moved to a, a.
Really a positive life.
you mentioned God , which is good. Mm-hmm. , it’s a good segue to, you know, one of the things that drew me to your story [00:23:00] was your book, God Came to My Garage Sale. Yeah. I was wondering if you could share a little bit of the story with our audience, and tell us. How come God came to your garage sale?
Dr. Marnie Hill: Yeah. Well I think, you know, well God is everywhere and God is within us as well. but you know, I think that God got my attention through some spiritual miracles. So like at one point I was surrounded by 50 to a hundred dragonflies circling me and. Everything was in slow motion. So I could see the veins in each wing and I could see the different iridescent colors and I equated the different sizes of the dragon flies to generations of family or people that have, or that are supporting me on this journey.
and then I went on to have a few more dragonfly experiences. One of them was coming across the Dancing Dragonfly Winery in Michigan, where, we [00:24:00] really. Had a very similar experience, you know? so we really, I was able to say, Wow, this didn’t just happen to me, but there were a number of things where people just came and their interactions and their, and, and how they presented themselves were almost otherworldly, you know, just, Almost like I was being visited by someone that no one else saw except for me.
Dr. Marnie Hill: I had experiences where, where a deceased loved one came through electronics and, and. Was able to communicate with me a dream visitation finding, you know, and people think, oh, finding pennies and feathers and seeing red cardinals. Those are, those are just general, but you know what, when you experience them, they are not general and they could have a very specific take on ’em.
So, So really at this garage sale, and not everything happened at this garage [00:25:00] sale. Like I said, I made it a spiritual fiction, even though it’s inspired by all real events. They all didn’t happen, you know, on a weekend. Yeah. But, you know, it really, the message was clear that we are loved and supported by God and by, you know, divine source and.
I have found personally, you know, I’m able to even manifest things and experiences when I’m in a complete state of deep gratitude, which is not hard for me because I’ve always been wired that way. I’ve always been, you know, someone that. You know, just puts one foot in front of the other and plugs along even though, you know, I might have had tough situations, you know, throughout my life.
And I just have always looked at the bright side and, you know, so that’s how God came to my garage sale. Thank
Gissele: you. the, I wanted to talk about, I know that some of my listeners will be saying, Well, I’ve prayed to God [00:26:00] in what? You know, what? Ask for, I didn’t get. Why would God choose to show up for some people and not other?
What would you say to them? You
Dr. Marnie Hill: know, I, you know, I think that we are presented with God’s grace and miracles when we need to be presented with that and, and our life. Experiences on Earth are not always gonna be positive. And I don’t think that, you know, it works that way, that we just ask and we should just, you know, immediately get that.
Sometimes the messages and the, and the response is hidden through other experiences. So it’s not just blatant it, it could be a series of events that leads itself towards that positive outcome that you are hoping.
Gissele: Agreed. my, that has been my experience the one thing I never kind of put into the equation was my own receptivity.
Mm-hmm. . so, you [00:27:00] know, there’s been times when you ask for things, ask and ask and ask, and ask and ask, and you keep asking. But because the underlying assumption there is you don’t receive, we’re not gonna receive, or it, it’s, it’s from the place of fear. Whereas when I have let go and said, you know, This is my greatest desire, and I do it with this in grace, and I have faith and I take, like you said, a step in faith.
Mm-hmm. that it, it’s, it will be realized or it is realized. it, it occurs, it happens. and it, so it’s, I think sometimes we don’t take into account how receptive we are in, in shifting ourselves out of that fear of like, it’s not here, I don’t have it. I’m never gonna. Right.
Dr. Marnie Hill: I You bring up a really good point because I’m thinking, all right, I stayed in that marriage 27 years, you know, Was it just that one fateful night that I had, that light bulb moment?
No. I was given warning signs, you know? Years and years prior, so was [00:28:00] why didn’t I, you know, get that happiness that I desired? Well, I wasn’t receptive, I wasn’t ready. I, I needed to experience other things. And that’s how I try to make sense of that, that we do it, It’s a reciprocal thing. We do need to be at a point where we are ready to, to.
Pay attention to signs and synchronicities and what is put before us. And then, you know, hindsight is always 2020 where you could be like, Oh my gosh, I should have really paid attention, you know, before. But maybe, you know, maybe if I would have, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons that I needed to learn.
Or maybe, you know, it, it, I think that there’s just, there’s a reason or a meaning for everything.
Gissele: And I, I really liked how you had said earlier that, you know, sometimes things that happen from [00:29:00] our perspective may be seen as bad, although I don’t really think there’s good or bad, it’s just how we interpret the situation, right?
Mm-hmm. , but. These circumstances do help us grow and change and, Right. And so, especially if we hadn’t been listening to the other messages, eventually life goes, bam. . Yeah. Hello .
Dr. Marnie Hill: Hello. Those
Gissele: messages I give you, were listening to now you really can’t run away. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And so I think maybe if we got a little bit more receptive, maybe suffer
Dr. Marnie Hill: a little Agreed.
Hopefully. Yep. I agreed.
Gissele: Let’s talk about the power of gratitude. gratitude is so, so powerful. Yes. What have you found, gratitude has really kind of, opened your life up to, like, what, what ha what ways has it really helped
Dr. Marnie Hill: your life? You know, I just think that I am someone who is naturally grateful, so I believe that, you know, , even when I was a little kid and there was no food in the [00:30:00] cupboard, sometime I was grateful that I had shelter that I was in.
I mean, so here I’m a little kid thinking that way, you know? And I knew eventually, you know, I’d have a dinner somewhere, you know? so I just believe I’ve always had kind of a foundation of gratitude and, so I don’t necessarily. You know, consciously say, Well, I’m going to be grateful for this. I think that’s just part of who I am, but I think gratitude, you know, helps us see the positives and realize that.
You know? Yeah. We may be in a tough situation. We may have it bad. There are other people that have it worse. I think it helps us put things in perspective.
Gissele: Yeah, and it also, I also think back to the point you had made earlier, I think it also helps us. See or hear the messaging that we might not be hearing.
If we see things only from a negative perspective, we’re [00:31:00] not gonna be hearing those messages where, we are being helped by source in the universe. Right. Where it’s saying, Look here, look here instead of doing that, or don’t go that way. Mm-hmm. , I think the world is, is gonna be hurtful. Growing up, I basically was taught that the world, and this is because my parents experience not a great childhood.
Yeah. And so I was always. That the world was hurtful and that people were hurtful and that things were dangerous. And then, and so I came to gratitude sort of later in life, . Mm-hmm. . Right. I, I’ve found that it has been transformative in terms of been helping me turn difficult situations into a gift.
Gissele: Yeah. a gift sometimes wrapped in crap ,
Dr. Marnie Hill: but a gift, a life lesson, you know, an awareness. And it really helps
Gissele: us grow. what’s your perspective of, of, of what we call God? Like what do you think God is like? Is it, is it a man in the
Dr. Marnie Hill: sky? Is it ? I, [00:32:00] I don’t know. I, and I think if, if we knew and it, and if it was the same for everyone, we’d be able to articulate it perfectly.
So, so I struggle with that, but I, I believe God. I believe in God, I do believe that there is, is an all-knowing, all caring, all loving divine source that, is there to influence, you know, people on earth. I’m someone, actually, you might not know this about me, but I grew up atheist, so I did not have a foundation in organized religion, Any speaking of Jesus Christ or any of the gods for all the different religions.
Hmm. so I didn’t really have a background in that and kind of on my own pursued that because I just felt in my heart of hearts there had to be something more, even though I [00:33:00] wasn’t exposed to it, it was just a knowing that I had within me. One thing that I kind of, so I, without, with having that kind of atheist background, I’m someone who really needs proof.
I need evidence. I mean, show me. I wanna see it. I wanna feel it, you know. and so I did pursue in my quest for knowledge, Information from people that had had near death experiences. So I became, very involved in attending ION’S conferences, which is the International Association for Near Death Studies, and I have heard hundreds and hundreds of accounts and have a library of books from so many of these people that have had nde and they all.
You know, have that common theme of love, that we are all love and that we, that there is a God and this God watches over us. And, you know, there are so many accounts where people actually felt that they met God in these near death experiences. And that, [00:34:00] that God was like, you know, communicated with us just like.
Any other person would, except, you know, with, with a gentle authority of giving us reassurance of the big picture of things. So, you know, I think that’s a really tough question. I think it’s a great question to ask. I would probably ask that of every single one of your guests because then you are gathering, you know, other people’s perspectives on this.
So I don’t really have the best answer for you except for, I’m in that pursuit, I suppose. but I. There’s definitely a reassurance for me that, that I am loved and supported by, source that that has my back and, and cares about humanity. And it doesn’t matter, you know, what your skin color is, your nationality, your ethnic background, your, you know, even your religion, it doesn’t matter because I believe in so many ways, the [00:35:00] religion part of it, the organized religion, is man-made
thing. It’s not necessarily, you know, what God had intended. In fact, when you start to see some of the, the malevolent efforts and, and messages and behavior of, of some. People and leaders in the organized religion, you know, you, and you see that hypocrisy. You can say how, how could that be godlike? But so I really believe that all of that is more manmade.
I think that there are benefits to it, There’s a community aspect. it can provide, support in many ways for different people. but I’m still on that quest to find out exactly who God is. but I at the same time feel like I’m surrounded by God with everything that I do.
Gissele: you mentioned, the word love. which, from our perspective, the word that we have been taught or the concept of love that we have been taught really is not [00:36:00] what true love is. it’s from our perspective, it’s, it’s more unconditional loving.
I, I can love you just because you exist. You don’t have to earn the love, you don’t have to, you know. Right. and so we’ve been taught this conditional love, and so I was thinking about what your thoughts on, the love that God represents.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Well, I believe it’s also unconditional love and I try to conduct myself that way with unconditional love because I do believe that, you know, That yes, organized religion is fear based and yes, there’s conditions placed on certain things and there’s a lot of judgment and that’s not what God is all about.
And you know, people that are toxic and have, you know, that are abusers, you know who really are. good people. At some point they, they were damaged, They were taught to hate. I mean, this is kind of a learned behavior to treat people poorly, to belittle others, [00:37:00] to, you know, put yourself up on a pedestal and, and, you know, so much so that you have power and control over other people and you wish will, you know, ill will on other people.
That’s not what love is all about. You know, love is love. Is very much unconditional. So, you know, that’s kind of, yeah, it’s, it’s hard to get a definitive answer on all of these things, but, you know, God is, is loving and accepting and wants us to grow and, you know, and many believe too, that we might have signed up for the experiences that we have on Earth that we wanted to experience all the different emotions that humans experience.
And, and that that is all part of our awareness and growth.
Gissele: Mm-hmm. . Yeah. I’ve also heard that perspective in terms of it being something that, that from the perspective of the universal mind or, or source, right? That there is no good and bad. There’s only [00:38:00] just experience. And so, you know, like you could see a snake and for some people it’s a horrible thing.
For other people, it’s a great thing. For other people, it really doesn’t matter. The snake is still just a.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Right. And I, but I will tell you, since moving to the Caribbean, we have had 21 Boa Constrictors at our house. And you know, back when I was in the Chicago,
Gissele: like, oh, maybe that’s not
Dr. Marnie Hill: a good thing. Well, back when I was in the Chicago suburbs, I.
You know, we would have gardener snakes and that kind of thing, unless we went to a zoo, you know, and, and got to see them. So anyway, I’ve come to, to learn, you know, that we can look at things differently, you know, and I, and I can look at the snake as being part of the. Ecosystem. Although where I live in the Caribbean, in the Virgin Islands, it, it’s an invasive species.
It’s not, it was not naturally brought here. So it’s, it is actually throwing off the ecosystem some. But yeah, it’s kind of interesting you would mention snakes because, you know, that’s [00:39:00] something I readily experience here. And luckily they’re boas, so they’re not venomous. I think if they were venomous, I would have a different level of fear, but, you know.
Yeah. But anyway, , Yeah. A lot of it is on our
Gissele: perspective. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And one of the things I am, you know, toying with is, you know, and remind ourselves of that.
Well, you mentioned, I think a key part of that is the aspect of forgiveness, right? Forgiving ourselves first, which is, you know, in terms of.
Sometimes we can feel guilty when we’ve allowed ourselves to be in a situation, even though it might not be like technically our fault. I think sometimes we really feel bad that we have allowed ourselves, or maybe we didn’t listen to our, to our, you know, like the gut feeling or our higher self saying, Don’t do that, and then we can.
Really bad about ourselves. So, you know, how did I get myself here and, you know, dumb and whatever. thinking about the concept, going back to the concept of, of source or God really is, if. [00:40:00] Source is everything, then it’s everyone and everything, so, mm-hmm. , there is a divinity in everything.
And then how can I see and remember the divinity in everything that is happening? Sometimes it feels hard. sometimes I’m like having a hard time seeing a divinity in you at this moment.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Right, right.
Gissele: Can I even be willing to consider that there is some divinity there Right. You know, and we are not perfect and we have in our lives hurt people either intentionally or un unintentionally, you know, from even being a little kid. You know? And, and you have to forgive yourself and realize, okay, that’s what you did at that time, but you, that doesn’t mean you need to.
Dr. Marnie Hill: Continue that behavior. You can learn from that. It’s all part of a big experience, you know, But finding divinity is so beautifully said that we need to find that,so I think we’re giving ourselves first is really key. And then, [00:41:00] you know, extending that forgiveness, because as you had said earlier as well about the attachments, it releases us from that energetic attachment.
Right. And just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean that we need to welcome bad behavior back into our lives. You know, it’s not a permission to, Hey, keep, keep it coming. Yeah. You know, because no, at some point, you need to just say, Enough is enough. You know? No, it’s, it’s, it’s been very clear that, you know, this isn’t healthy Yeah.
Gissele: But forgiveness really enables us to kind of release. Yeah. Attachment to that story or to that identity or the, what had happened. It enables us also to look at new potentials. Like for you, you were willing to step out of that previous situation and that previous identity if you were and let go, and then, It enabled you to kind of look from a new perspective and, and kind of have a new life, right?
Dr. Marnie Hill: [00:42:00] Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel very fortunate and, and you know, to the people that are tuning into your podcast here, if they find themselves in a really tough situation and feel like all hope is lost. You know, please glean some, some nuggets from these conversations that, you know, No, it’s part of a journey. It’s part of the lessons.
And, you know, if we come from a perspective of love, forgiveness, compassion and goodness, and honest, you know, staying true to our, our core values, our integrity, you know, we’ll be able to move past some of these challenging situations and onto a better life. It, it will not ever be. The same as it was, but life isn’t that way every day.
We are changing and growing. And so really, you know, nothing will ever stay the same. And we try to hold on to some of those things, and we can ruminate and reminisce and, you know, we have our memories. but [00:43:00] it’s exciting to make new memories.
Gissele: I wanted to ask, one question about something you had said a few times, when we were chatting, which is I had a knowing. Yeah. And, can we talk a little bit about how you tap into that knowing I’ve had, like, I know what that feels like, but my audience may not.
Dr. Marnie Hill: You know, I have a couple of different, responses to that. the general knowing is just in your gut, you. Somehow you are reassured that you made the right decision or that you’re moving in the right direction. So it’s just sort of in my stomach, gut feeling.
But then I also, and I don’t profess to have any psychic medium abilities at all, even though I’ve been told by many that I do. but I, I’m not at the point. Believing that or accepting that, but I do sometimes get a knowing across my forehead. It’s a really strange thing, but I, I, and it’s [00:44:00] always right to left and it’s kind of like a message will come to me.
And, and that’s been very, very interesting. That’s happened on a number of occasions where it’s just kind of validated or confirmed what I was leaning towards anyway. But you know, so having a knowing is just like, you know, an aha, you know, to, to put it in kind of layman’s terms, like, okay, when I made that choice, when I had that experience that one night, that solidified for me that I was going to file for divorce against everything I always wanted and believed I should do.
I had a knowing it was kind of, I couldn’t unsee what I saw. I couldn’t unexperience what I experienced enough was enough. You know, so many things had happened over so many years that, you know, final straw, you know,so [00:45:00] in our day to day lives, you might have a situation. It might not involve a relationship.
It might be, you know, getting a job, keeping a job, or leaving a job or, you know, deciding to go on a trip or changing your mind and not going just cuz you had a feeling of it. Mm-hmm. , I think, I think we just have to kind of pay attention to our, to our inner voice and, and when it happens enough.
Then I think, you know, there’s a knowing aspect to it, so. Mm-hmm. ,
Gissele: do you use anything to, to better listen to your inner voice now that, now that you are tapping into it more relative to
Dr. Marnie Hill: where you were before? You know, I, I meditate, which is something that I was never comfortable doing probably cuz I had so much chatter in my mind, or I had so many things to do, places to go, people to meet, that type of thing.
So now that I’m [00:46:00] retired and living in the Caribbean, I’m spending a lot more time in nature. And I’m really just paying attention to the intricacies. I was always someone that was very detail oriented and always appreciated the beauty of nature wherever I was, whether it was in the middle of a snowstorm or you know.
when there, there was a rainfall, you know, I mean, whatever it was, I don’t think, because I’m in the Caribbean, that’s the answer to it. I think you can find beauty wherever you are, whether you’re in a city or whether you’re in the country, you know, that type of thing. But I, I meditate now. And I don’t really consciously say, Okay, at nine o’clock I’m going to meditate.
Dr. Marnie Hill: And I think that it just happens when I have the feeling overcome me. And it’s happening more and more where I just sit in silence and I just listen to the breeze and I feel the sun on my face and you know, I might smell the aroma of the beautiful [00:47:00] herbs I’m growing in my garden, or you know, I just think it’s a multisensory kind.
Place that I get myself into. And that is extremely helpful. And I, I think that also, even though the term self love or self care is kind of overrated, overused or whatever, there’s a lot of,validity to taking care of yourself, you know, physically and emotionally. So I, I take time to, To sleep well and to eat well, and to exercise well.
And you know, being the best that I can be. You know, and then just being open to, you know, unique experiences and just being able to appreciate them. Appreciate. Appreciate everything. There’s, you know, even, even the adversity, even the negative experiences, I appreciate them, you know, because without them I might not really have fully [00:48:00] realized the positives.
Gissele: It’s a beautiful perspective and, and so spot on. gratitude is so, so important. The mindfulness you were talking about in terms of me being really mindfully present. The more I’m mindfully present, the more I realize there’s so many things I miss on you. Mm-hmm. . There was one time when I, I guess I had bought a box of something that I normally had bought, but I decided to be really mindful during breakfast and I’m like, Oh, I didn’t know this has this ingredient in this.
Like I’m like, What am I buying? Right? Like we do things sometimes so mindlessly like that we just going around for life, but so to really soaking in just where you are, you don’t need to be in the Caribbean, like you said, to be really, really fully. The other thing that you had mentioned was about, self care and self love.
from my perspective, they’re different. Like I think self-care is an important aspect of self love. Mm-hmm. . but taking those moments to take care of ourselves and to honor that through self care.
Gissele: Take moments to really just say, Okay, this is [00:49:00] my time
Dr. Marnie Hill: And you know, what we talked about before with forgiveness, that plays a role in this as well.
Gissele: Absolutely. so I’m wondering if you could share with the audience where people can find you, where they can find your books. do you have anything that is coming up within the next,
Dr. Marnie Hill: You know, everything that I’m involved in, the different events, book signings, speaking engagements, you know, that type of thing can all be found on my website.
actually just this morning I got notification that I just was awarded a five star review with reader’s favorite for book two of True Deceit False Love. So that was pretty cool. So then I post that plus different podcast interviews and I also. Post, you know, other resources and other people’s information, just to provide kind of a section in my website for resources, not just letting people know what I’m doing, but my website is the title of my spiritual fiction.
Dr. Marnie Hill: So [00:50:00] www.godcametomygaragesale.com.
Gissele: Thank you so, so much, Marni, for being with us and sharing your story with us and sharing your wisdom. please, everyone go check out Marnie’s website and check out her books, including the book. God Came to My Garage Sale, And thank you for joining us for another episode of The Love and Compassion Podcast with Gissele See you soon.Dr. Marnie Hill: Okay, thanks. Bye-bye.