Gissele overdub: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Love and Compassion podcast with Giselle. We believe that love and compassion have the power to heal our lives and our worlds. Don’t forget to like, and subscribe for more amazing content.
Today we’ll be talking about bringing compassion into the school system, and we’ll be talking to Kara Cosby, who is the Compassionate School Project Teacher at Englehart Elementary School in Louisville, Kentucky she has delivered the Flourish curriculum in grades K to five for six years and is a Compassionate Schools Project Flourish teacher trainer.
She’s also a certified mindfulness director with Whole School Mindfulness. She has completed a master’s degree in elementary education and teaching from the University of Louisville, and has a master’s in education and educational leadership and administration from [00:01:00] Asbury University. Please join me in welcoming Kara.
Hi, Kara. Hello. Hello. Hello. I’m so excited to talk to you because I think compassion in the school system is so, so needed, especially at this time. I was wondering if you could tell the audience a little bit about how you started in this work. How is it that you became this compassionate schools.
Project teacher.
Kara: Okay, so I was a fourth and fifth grade teacher in JCPS. I moved away to Denver, Colorado. I taught for two years there. And then when I decided to come back to Louisville, I kept seeing these positions called the Compassionate schools project. I had no idea what it was but I saw there was several.
So I applied for them. And then I, of course, after applying, started investigating to see, okay, what is this compassionate schools project? What do they do? And then when [00:02:00] I dove a little deeper and found out like what it really involves, I thought, wow, because. I am totally into vision boards, and I had had on my vision board for about a year that I was going to teach yoga.
And so when I found out that this position actually incorporated mindful movement I was so excited. And so that’s how the whole journey began.
Gissele overdub: I love vision boards, and I love being able to kind of align with your manifestation. So that’s, that’s pretty exciting.
Kara: That’s what it felt like, that full circle moment.
Gissele overdub: Yeah, for sure. I love it when life happens like that. Tell us a little bit about what sort of, curriculum you delivered to the young people and maybe perhaps how you define compassion.
Kara: Okay, so the curriculum is broken into 7 units. It starts from the beginning where it’s all about self and, and just learning how to be your [00:03:00] best self and just what is compassion. And so we dive into that first. It’s a very short unit, but then it travels after you introduce compassion into emotions.
Unit three is like all about being your best self. self. So we talk about like what we need to be our best selves. I love the emotions unit because it gives me the chance to show inside out, which is literally one of my favorite cartoons. And so Oh, as it goes from self, it moves into friendships and relationships.
So we moved from self to friendships, relationships, just how we interact with others. Then the last two units are like community based. So it moves out of. I mean, it’s still about relationship building, but much more on a wider scale. And so we finish out with unit seven, which is a community service project.
You come up with the project for your school and it’s something that you guys do for the community. And that’s how it all ends every [00:04:00] year. So for me, In terms of like what compassion is in my definition probably has changed so many times, but ultimately, you know, when I ask the kids, what is compassion, you know, they’re like being nice and they think it’s about being nice to others, but I really teach them that compassion is about kindness and it’s not just about being kind to other people, but learning how to be kind to yourself first.
Because you are first. Then once we take care of ourselves, then we can go out and be our best self for everyone else. So that’s really, I love the way it flows. Now there have been times where I have gone out of order just because of like, what’s happening in school. So like, if I see. One year, I think the kids were just having a really hard time.
It was the very beginning of school year, but they were having a hard time getting along. So I really dove into unit five first, which was like all about friendships and cooperative learning and just how to work with people. So we, we kind of jumped around that year.
Gissele overdub: [00:05:00] I think that’s such a great idea because we are meeting the kids where they’re at, right?
Kara: habit. Okay. You know, they’ve been having it for years, so you can kind of do that, but not with your kindergarten. It’s because it’s like their first time.
Gissele overdub: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And is this program embedded within this school? Like, is it something that happens every year or is it just a, it’s a limited time project?
Kara: So the Compassionate Schools Project is actually like a study, you know, it started off at As a study with the University of Virginia they were like doing a lot of data keeping in the beginning and, you know, it was all like trying to gauge how this program would impact schools. And I guess over time, you know, the, the survey part wrapped up and they got the research and then.
It kept going. it has happened every year and it is like, a class. So in every school probably does it different, but my school utilizes it as like a special area or itinerant class, like along with PE and art and things like [00:06:00] that.
Gissele overdub: Beautiful, beautiful. And can you share a little bit about some of the outcomes that you’ve seen, like sort of the impact on the children who have taken this course in particular?
Kara: I feel like you know, the great thing is we start in kindergarten. So the real the real proof is in watching a child who came in at kindergarten and is now graduating fifth grade, you know, so they’ve had it for six years.
And so over that time, I really get to see the change in behavior. Now, I will say, like, if I think about there’s this one particular student that I always meet. Use as my example when he came in, he was a first grader, very angry, would storm out of class over the smallest things and would curse at teachers.
I mean, he, he was just a very emotional child, but over the years I noticed that he could learn [00:07:00] to regulate and he. Like if he got upset in class, he would like go off to a corner. So now instead of storming out of the room, we’re learning how to go find us a space by ourselves. And so over time, I just watched how his reactions they changed, you know, and I don’t ever, you know, try to take credit, like, Oh, CSP did that, you know?
But I think maturity and. You know, they’re learning these skills every year. And the one thing I do love is like the lessons are by like K and one have the same lessons. So if you came in and kindergarten, you’re going to see the same deck lessons again in first grade. And then when you go to second grade, a whole new set of activities and things, and then the same thing for fourth and fifth, so you really get to kind of see kids move through the different grade levels and just how the activities change.
But I think the core. You know, the core is like the calming and focusing, And we’re [00:08:00] breathing, we’re stretching, and those things are consistent. And so I feel like over time, it really teaches the kids how to regulate, you know, when they face different adversities in life.
Gissele overdub: And this is so important because I think the school system doesn’t really teach Children, how to regulate if they expect them to know to come in knowing that but some kids don’t always have that or get that example at home. And so the school does give them the opportunity to, with your program, it’s giving them the opportunity to practice a very, very important skill, especially in leadership.
You sort of need empathetic people who are able to regulate their own emotions before they manage conflict. That’s very important in leadership. And so I think what you’re doing is phenomenal. What has been the engagement from the teachers and the principals in terms of the, the program?
Kara: My principal loves the program. His kids [00:09:00] actually, you know, came through the CSP project. So, you know, he would come back and tell me stories like how they were coming home and teaching their little brother the fresh start sequence. And so, you know, that’s when I’ll begin to hear little stories, you know, and the teachers in that way also will report back like on, you know, things people are doing in class or, you know, he all of a sudden he was getting upset and he found his anchors.
And so, you know, over time, I feel like. You know, there’s just been little things that happen and it kind of brings it to the attention. Now I have teachers who love CSP and they will come in, sit on a mat, you know, they’ll join us for coming and focusing and then they’ll leave and go have their planning.
I’ve really with whole school. So whole school didn’t really come into the picture until the past two years. But with whole school, it has really opened my eyes in terms of how to expand beyond my classroom and how can I bring in teachers and how can I touch the community? [00:10:00] How can we get to the parents and the families?
So with whole school, it has really kind of pushed me to find ways to get the teachers. So we started this calm program and it’s an outside instructor. She comes in, she does mindful movement and breathing with the teachers. And so that was like something that many teachers loved. And so I just try to find ways to, you know, bring the teachers in because the teachers already, they just think of me like, Oh, this is just another class.
But then they start to see like what we do. And I’ve made it a point to like pass out the posters that I use. And so everybody has a calm place in their room now. Which is something we just started last year. So I gave every teacher, you know, posters that have breathing strategies, things that kids can do, things that they see already in my classroom, but now let’s transfer it to your class.
So they’ve been receptive. I will say they’ve been very receptive.
Gissele overdub: And I think that’s so important for engagement, right? Like if they see, if [00:11:00] the children see an alignment in this in the teachers in terms of the practice in like an allowance, almost like you’re allowed to have this space And I think it makes it easier for the kids to, to really practice those skills in the different environments. I’ve been in leadership, so I know how important it is to have that acceptance at all the different levels, because if you don’t have engagement from that leadership it can be really hard to implement.
You talked about. The community projects. And I think this is so important. Can you give me a few examples of some of the, the community projects that you, that the students have put together?
Kara: Okay, so over the years, we’ve done a lot. I think in the very beginning, we did things like, you know, project cleanup campus cleanup day. And so, you know, the kids got gloves and I feel like Metro United or some local organization might have done that. Like, they donated us gloves and bags and we had the little you know, [00:12:00] those little trash, like Yeah, yeah.
Like the little clippy things. Like Yeah. That just, yeah. Kids love that. They’re like, oh, we use that. So, you know, picking up trash, cleaning up our, our playground. I’m cleaning up our campus. We’ve even done small things like we get the sidewalk chalk. We go out on the street. We are located downtown pretty much so like on a corner block.
So I would have the kids spread out and we would have already done the messages in class. But I tell them, like, what’s a message that someone needs to see as they walk by? Like, what is something that you could say to someone that would brighten their day? We’re talking complete strangers. So they come up with a few words and then we go outside.
We each get a square, we decorate it so that people who are walking by see these positive messages, you know, put a smile on people’s face. Last year we really wanted to show appreciation for our bus drivers. So we made cards for the bus drivers and you know, it was very random and how we delivered them.
I mean, we went out, we put. Positive notes on [00:13:00] people’s cars and like stuck them in their windshield. So I was like, people are going to think they’re getting a ticket and they’re going to look at it. It’s going to have this positive message about how great they are and that’s going to make their day. So the kids were super excited to do it.
And Yeah, those are just like a few I can think about the top of my head. We really try to do something more like just those positive vibes, sending out positive vibes to the community. I’ve always wanted to do like a drive of some sort or like where they bring in things, but you know, the disadvantage too, is like I serve at a school.
Where the socioeconomic status is, is very low. So, it feels, you know, I, I struggle with, like, asking those kids, because these are the kids who would normally need donations. They would need those things that I’m asking for us to bring for the community. Really, they are that community. So I really have never kind of dove into that part because I’m always kind of worried about it.
So I really try to just stick to like, how can we make our neighborhood better? How can we put a smile on people’s faces? [00:14:00] And that seems to be the thing we go with here lately.
Gissele overdub: Yeah, you don’t, don’t underestimate the power of, of that. Of those positive words and that those positive energies the reason being is because somebody may have never heard that they’re worthy or beautiful or lovable.
They might have received something. They might have received like a cookie or, or, you know, like some food. But to hear you’re worthy, you are loved, you’re valuable to some people is the whole world and that’s what you’re doing. And so I think, yeah. And I think that’s, that’s not to be underestimated. Although I, I do totally agree with you in terms of generosity, but I think what you’re doing equally as, as worthwhile in terms of helping people.
And it’s sort of like, it’s very easy for us to, to catch the virus of negativity, right? it’s almost like a virus that just needs to spread the negativity, the [00:15:00] anger, the fear. So what you’re doing is you’re doing the opposite because that those people are then going to pass it onto someone else and they’re going to have a good day and therefore just going to spread around.
And from that, you are creating a community of love, which I think is so instrumental.
Kara: Yeah, sounds like paying it forward. That’s what I tell them.
Gissele overdub: Yeah. Yeah. And you’re teaching the kids the value of you know, that, that positivity, which I think is, is important. So what have you learned about student leadership from those sorts of projects does the program enable the students to really kind of step up and, and be leaders and learn about leadership?
So like in class, you know, there’s so many opportunities to be the leader and like, I really try to take a student centered approach. And so every day when they come in, you know, I’m always looking for like, who’s sitting down and doing the right thing because you’re going to lead us today.
Kara: So there’s always someone. Who leads us in calming and focusing. Someone has a chime, someone has the ball. Then we [00:16:00] have leaders who lead in terms of the mindful movement and they are like so eager to be the one to lead. Now in terms of the project, you just gave me a great idea because I’m like, yeah, we should have a like.
CSP ambassadors of some kind, like, and I know there is another CSP school and she does that. She has like fifth graders who are CSP ambassadors and they kind of like take the lead. I think they like go to other classrooms, maybe like kindergarten and first grade classrooms, and they might work with those kids and do some mindful movement.
And so I have really thought about How can I implement something like that, too? And I would love to have, like, student leaders do, like, our morning telecast, you know, and then maybe present, like, a mindful minute or something like that. So I’ve definitely thought about it. I feel like the only leadership so far has really been in class.
But I, I would love to expand it beyond that. I feel like there’s definitely a need for that, and it would help the kids so much to [00:17:00] just be in charge of something. You know, they feel good when they get to be in charge.
Gissele overdub: Yeah, for sure. And I think having run many, many programs when I was in leadership, one of the things that I, we were often in the same position that you were talking about, there’s limited funds, like this world might not be there tomorrow.
And so one of the things I always focused on is how could you integrate this into the culture so that I Like whoever they lose, then it’s not lost because that sometimes happens with programs, like the champions come in and they do these things and they do this amazing work and then they eject out for whatever reason and the program dies.
But when you have these ambassadors and champions, it lives on. And, but I, you know, That’s more of a formal role. I can already tell you that if you’re seeing different into the kids, they’re already those champions there that are, or that you are basically feeding from the very beginning in kindergarten all the way to, to fifth grade.
So I [00:18:00] think, so congratulations on that for sure. Yeah. I wanted to ask one of the, the challenges that I’ve seen here in the Canadian system in particular having gone through it as a child myself and with my own children. I, it’s a sometimes punitive approaches that happen with behavior issues.
And so, you know, like the, the approaches in terms of suspensions and, and sort of like the way we manage kids that are having problems. How has the compassionate schools project impacted the way that’s that schools respond to negative behavior?
Kara: So we have the here we have these they’re called SRT calls. Okay. So, like, if a child is. exploding or, you know, something has happened. The teacher makes a call and security or someone shows up to remove the child. And we are school that has a lot of those. And so my goal this [00:19:00] past year was how can I help cutting down some of these behavior issues?
So I implemented a program called the compassion coupons. Okay. And this was my first year trying them. So I gave teachers coupons like a little booklet and they were in 15, 20 and 25 minute increments on them was like It was like a cute little picture of a kid
And it says like this compassion coupon is for, and they would put the student’s name. And I told the teachers instead of calling SRT, let’s try giving them the gift of compassion first. So you, instead of calling SRT, you’re going to, you see something’s about to happen. You can sense it. You give that child a coupon and you say, go deliver this to Ms.
Cosby. So the child Is now focused on something else. So they come to my room and they say, I’m supposed to give this to you. And I, and I look at, I say, okay, well, what happened? You know, so they come in, we [00:20:00] talk now, if they come in and I’m in the middle of class, I just have them join in on whatever we’re doing.
So I don’t care what grade is in there. Get a mat. Join us. Let’s go. So usually they just kind of fall into whatever is already going on. And then I’ll try to find some time and talk to them one on one to find out like, you know, what happened? How you feeling? And usually, you know, they only need 15 to 20 minutes and they are smiles on faces and we’re ready to go back to class.
So that was super popular. And the teachers were very receptive with that. To it. I had some teachers who never wanted to use them and I had to tell them like, I think they like maybe felt bad. Like, I can’t just put them off on you. And I said, No, that’s not what you’re doing. You know, this is just as much for you as it is for them.
You know, just giving you a moment so that you can focus and teach the class and it’s giving them a break out of the classroom. So once teachers kind of once I talked to them and told them like, The purpose [00:21:00] behind it. Then they were like, Oh, okay. And I had way more compassion coupons being used. So I feel that in this coming year, the real proof will be to see, like, look at the numbers to see did SRT calls go down as a result of starting this.
And I really want to start it from the beginning of the year this year, because this came like midway through the year last year. So, I mean the real, I think we need to look and see, but I really love the idea of just like not getting upset with the child seeing that they have a need and then let’s try to address the need.
And I’m going to, I will work with you to do that.
Gissele overdub: Yeah. So thank you for sharing that. Such a beautiful story. And what a great initiative, because I think that’s one of the things that I found. We don’t get curious enough in the school system about what’s happening to the kids to cause that, that reaction.
Sometimes school is a hard day at the office for some of these kids. I used to work in the child welfare system, child protection system. I don’t know what they call it in the U [00:22:00] S. But many of those kids. Kids came from toxic homes or they were in the foster care system. So mother’s day, father’s day, very triggering.
And they weren’t going to say, excuse me, I’m being triggered by the fact that I don’t have family day coming up because of my family. They’re just gonna react. And so rather than getting curious and being loving, we respond in an equally aggressive manner, like calling a cop or suspending them.
We don’t get curious enough. So I love those compassion coupons because I think it does give them the opportunity to then say, Hey, I’m having a hard day in school or just to, to use the movement to release some of those pent up feelings. And so I think that’s very, very important. I remember having a an experience with a young person.
And, and I truly believe in re imagining people. Like sometimes we pigeonhole people into. Because this is, people say, Hey, Kara is [00:23:00] this particular way. And then everyone kind of sees you this way.
Kara: Yeah.
Gissele overdub: So, and so I had a little kid who was I was working at a daycare at the time and I was, I don’t know, I was like 17 and they gave me, cause I guess the teacher didn’t show up.
I guess she was sick. So they gave me the school age room and they’re like, here’s the school age room. Here’s the stuff. Here’s like. I don’t know, 15, 20 kids. And then they’re like, watch out for so and so. He’s terrible. He’s named a whole bunch of things. And so I go in there and I’m like, wide eyed. I’m like, listen, I’m 17.
I don’t know how to manage these kids. Yeah, like, I can’t manage 1 problematic kid. I really can’t. And so I turned to so and so and said, you’re going to be my helper today. You’re going to be the lead. What do you want to do? And the kid, 1st of all, he was shocked. Then 2nd of all, he was my best kid that day.
He led the kids make sure everybody listened. And as soon as his parents came in, I was, I was like, [00:24:00] Very sure to tell them he was my best kid today. He was my super helper. We did all of these amazing things. I allowed him to give some control. And that’s me as a 17 because I’m like, I can’t manage this kid today.
So he has to be my best helper. And so that was probably my first time re imagining people and thinking, you know what, this is a story or identity that somebody has put on you or you’ve been told, let’s shift that. And so I feel like that’s what your compassion coupons are doing is you’re re imagining what could happen with these kids.
And I think that’s, that’s very important. Yeah.
Do you find that as you get to grade five, that relationships are more important?
Kara: the conversations around that in fourth and fifth grade are so rich. I mean, we really get into like real situations. What happened on the playground? Well, they’re telling me about, oh, you know, someone got mad because, you know, I stepped on his shoe and he said this.
And so, you know, we [00:25:00] really get to dive into like the real. Stories because I always tell them, let’s, let’s go over a real life example. And then let’s talk about like how we could have reacted versus how we did react. And so I feel like the conversation around those parts in fourth and fifth grade are just so good.
Oh, they’re so rich. And it just, you can see the light bulb go off for them. It’s like, Oh, you know, but with my younger ones, You know, it’s got to be like really simple, but nonetheless, like we had so much conflict this last year in second grade and I don’t know we, you know, I think it’s one of those things you need to get to the bottom.
Like you said, like, investigate why is this? Why is this? Why is this particular grade having such a struggle this year because they were constantly fighting. And it was just, I mean, it was constant. So we really, my counselor and I, and I love that my counselor, she like loves to partner with me on so many projects throughout the year.
But we have been talking about next year, you know, like how can we target those kids early? Like we know. [00:26:00] What the problems were last year, like they’re going into third grade, we’re going to be proactive and not reactive. And we’re going to set up, you know, some small groups and get those kids into some extra CSP time.
And so the great thing is that this year, my schedule is opening up a little bit, way more than in the past. And so I’m super excited to do some SEL groups. And I told them like, you know, those tier two kids who are like on the verge of tier three. We can start pulling them, making small groups, you know, talking about conflict and just how to get along and all the things that they’re struggling with.
But that’s really good because then it allows us to kind of hone in on what is the real issue. And I think through conversation in small group, we will get to the real issue of what’s causing all this conflict.
Gissele overdub: Yeah, and I think what you said is so spot on. And I love that you recognize that this cohort is different in that you’re planning for it.
I think [00:27:00] that is so amazing because there’s some schools that don’t know the kids. Like, there’s some schools that don’t really know who they are. They don’t really know what’s going on for them. And the fact that you’re willing to say, Hey, I want to get to know and how to support this cohort in particular, like, instead of just sticking with my curriculum, yeah, the curriculum is important.
What else do they need? And therefore that you’re very curious about that. And I think that’s so important.
Kara: Yeah, and I will say at our school, we have a lot of people on our staff who are also working in conjunction with all of this. So, you know, we have a mental health practitioner full time. We have a full time social worker and, you know, we have the counselor.
So, you know, it’s really great because they already have small groups, some of these people. And so it will be really nice to just like work together and then see these kids multiple times and it not just be this like sporadic [00:28:00] when we have time, we meet with you. And a lot of times, you know, the mental health and the social worker, they meet one on one.
So I’m really excited to start the small group portion of this.
Gissele overdub: Yeah. And that’s how you prevent kids from falling through the cracks, right? That’s how you prevent kids from not being seen and acknowledged. And so I think that’s, that’s instrumental and that goes to like, you know, in particular you have this whole bullying and in school shooter fears.
How has this compassion based training helped the whole issue of like potentially the bullying and harassment
Kara: You know, so everybody thinks the kids think. Everything is bully, you know, me and I’m like, well, what did he do? And then they’ll explain what happened.
I’m like, oh, that’s not bullying. So, you know, I feel like bullying in America has been overused, you know, and to the point that kids don’t really [00:29:00] understand. What it is. They think if you say something mean to me, you bully, you’re bullying me. And I’ve had to just really explain like a bully is a person who is picking on you relentlessly.
Like they pick on you every day. I said, it’s not different people every day. I said, because kids tease each other. I went through it. I tell them all the names. I got called when I was a kid and they called me poor eyes and they just called me all kinds of things. I’m like, this is normal teasing.
Now, do we like it? No, no. And so we talk about like, how do you combat that? Because for some kids that is just like normal behavior. Normal conversation is to pick you apart. Let me talk about your shoes. Let me talk about about your clothes and talk about your hair. You know, anything they can find to talk about, they will talk about.
So I go over that. It’s like it’s so good that we get to talk about it because I bring it into the lessons and I’m like, you know, be clear. Like when people are picking on you, It’s because they don’t feel good. [00:30:00] They are not happy. And so we really look at how to like turn that around. Cause I say, you know, if, if somebody’s talking about my shoes, I’m, I’m looking at them going, Oh, I’m so sorry that you feel so bad that you need to talk about my shoes, you know?
So really it’s like working with kids on what to say when someone comes at. You negatively, how can you respond? Instead of you being negative back, you could say something else. You could do something else, you know? So, you know, by the end of the year, kids are very clear. Like, Oh, I’m walking away. Like, I’m not listening to him.
I’m just going to walk away. And I’m like, good. That’s a strategy. You can walk away. You can ignore them. You can go somewhere else and play with someone else. So they really pick up on through the, through the talking about these real life examples that, you know, not everything that I thought was bullying is bullying.
because to me, someone who’s a bully, there’s a reason. And I always tell them that like, there’s a reason he’s that way. There’s a reason she is saying that.
And it’s really not about you. You, you know, they’re making it about you and they’re [00:31:00] making, trying to make you feel bad, but you don’t have to accept that. And so, you know, it really brings up like just some great conversation around what we allow out as human beings, you know, allowing what other people say to really get to us to the point that we are acting out of character, we are exploding.
Gissele overdub: So, you know, it just, it’s those teachable moments. I just really try to decipher with kids like, is that really bullying or is that teasing? Yeah. Thank you for sharing.
Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And I appreciate that because I think we’ve made kids hypervigilant because of the school shootings and drills during my times, I remember that there was this kid in my high school school. Who was bullied relentlessly and nobody said anything.
None of us said anything because we didn’t want to be also picked on. I was, I was a nerd too. I’m like, Oh, I don’t want to be the target. And and so then I remember this kid, cause I mean, I think he had had enough. He brought a knife to school. Right. Because he just wanted them to stop. He just wanted them to stop.
[00:32:00] And who knows why this other person used to consistently pick on this individual. Cause like you said, I think hurt people, hurt people. I think people that truly love themselves and are compassionate towards themselves and feel worthy don’t need to pick on other people. They just don’t, they don’t bother with you.
And the people that are not feeling good about themselves. It’s like, I need to pass this on. And so helping students. understand and address that I think is, is great. It’s great for the, for the kids. Yeah, I’m going to shift gears a little bit.
Kara: I remember my kids, they’re always constantly wiggling and moving. Like, how do they manage So, of course, you know, kindergarten is always the challenge because, you know, they’ve never done it.
And so they are usually the hardest group. However. I have my class set up in a way that you need to be successful in this. And so I’m, I really stress like we do these things and it’s for you, you know, I’m doing. this to teach you the strategy so that when you [00:33:00] get upset, you know how to regulate and calm yourself down.
And so once I have that conversation and the piece about at the end of class, we’re going to play some fun games. So if you don’t give me 100 percent then you won’t be invited to participate in the games. And so it’s like that dangling carrot, like, okay, you want this, but you’re This is what I need. And so, you know, that helps with those reluctant kids too, because there are always some kids who are just, what are we doing?
And why are we doing this? And they come in with a bad attitude and they. don’t want to participate in. I’m not doing this. It’s usually new kids who maybe my like fourth or fifth day, there’s a new student who’s never been to our school. So they are very much like, I’m not doing that. but they learn very quickly.
My class is fun. Like I make sure that it is a lot of fun. So even our activities, like if there’s always an activity that goes with every lesson, but like the beginning of class is serious. You come in, you sit quietly, you find your anchors. We’re going to do our, you [00:34:00] know, focusing We’re going to breathe.
And they know, like after about a week of class, I have no more playing around. There it is all gone. So I do a really good job just of setting up the routines and procedures for how I want things to run. And I’m very clear with the kids. Like today I have I had summer school today and I actually get to teach compassion, which is such a blessing because normally I’m teaching reading or math or something, but they actually said, we need an SEL teacher.
So I was like, great. So I had this. Little guy today and he was rolling the mat. They like to roll up like a hot dog in the mat and I’m like I understand you’re playing with the mat, but know that if you play now you won’t play later So you gotta decide I always make it a choice a choice You can choose that choose that if that’s what makes you happy But just know when we get to the end i’m going to ask you to sit I’m not going to ask you to play.
Okay, and so that exchange usually goes, oh, oh, okay, and then we’re sitting up and then we’re listening and we’re doing [00:35:00] the things because, oh, I want to play this game. You have at the end. I want to play it.
Gissele overdub: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, definitely.
Kara: Yeah.
Gissele overdub: Oh, I love kids. They’re so. So wonderful to
Kara: get my teachers to understand, like, if you just incorporate fun, I don’t care what you teach, because, you know, people thought like, oh, mindfulness is that’s kind of boring.
And how do the kids don’t want to do that? And it’s like, they may not. Some of them may not want to, but, but, but when you incorporate fun with it then they want to, and I mean, even my, some of my worst children have changed so much, they come in, they’re sitting down, they’re looking like leaders cause they want to be the leader.
They want to be the person who’s, who’s showing leadership and being picked to lead the class. And so when, like you said, just like. When you speak to the leader in them, that makes them rise, you know, and I feel I’m a huge proponent of high expectations because if I set the expectation here, they will rise to meet it.
They will because they love me. So, and you know, when they love [00:36:00] you, they want to do whatever you ask them to.
Gissele overdub: Yeah. Thank you so much for mentioning expectations. Because I think sometimes we hold the bar so low for certain kids that we’re not doing them. Any favors and I think the more you hold the bar, high, not in like, you have to do this like with super pressure, but more around, like, I see the best version of you.
I see it. I see you in the best version of you whether you choose to attain it or not, that’s entirely your choice, but I see it within you. And I think that helps young people
Kara: because maybe like you said, they’ve not heard that, you know, they’ve not had anyone truly believe in them or tell them that they’re great or that they can achieve these things.
And it’s like, here’s a space where. Even, you know, little Johnny, who’s known for getting in trouble, who’s known for getting bad [00:37:00] grades, he can excel here. He can really rise up and look like a true leader in this space. And so I really always try to encourage them to like, you know, take that on to class.
You know, when you’re feeling some, you know, get your anchors, you can do that at your seat. You don’t have to bother anybody. And so I am always like just preaching to them. Like it’s those little small actions, you know, it goes a long way.
Gissele overdub: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, for sure. And I also wanted to mention the importance of play and fun because
So one of the things that I was taught was really that the school system isn’t about fun. It’s about responsibility and seriousness. And, and so the fun is gonna get taught out of us, right?
We have to be responsible and we have to be like serious and we have to just sit there. And so, I love that you are reintegrating the whole play aspect and fun aspect of it, because I think that’s so important for kids. That really resonates with them [00:38:00] because schools be boring. I don’t know about your schools, but our schools are.
tres boring. my kids they’re like, they don’t, they’re not motivated.
They’re not inspired to go. And so these systems are not really that inspirational. So I applaud you for that.
Kara: So, yeah, you know, school has always been preached, like, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s serious business, you know, and we go to school to learn and we’re not here to play, you know, teachers will say that we’re not here to play. But I’m a firm believer that we are here to play. And the more you incorporate the play, the more they will love what you’re doing.
And so you can do that with math. You can do that with reading. You can really do that with any subject.
so let me tell you, I have days where I do what’s called stations.
Okay. And so they’ll come in and there might be like, Toys and Legos and just different things. Well, I have this dress up station. Okay. And it’s got like costumes, but more like, you know, like doctor [00:39:00] jacket, nurse, you know, football player jerseys and just different like jobs. And I always think that it’s like for my little kids, but one day I left them out all day and I did, and I see every grade every day.
So, you know, I’m seeing kindergarten all the way to fifth. So I left it out for my fifth graders. And in my mind, I was like, Oh, they’re going to roll their eyes. They’re going to be like, why does she have this stuff out? They were so excited. And I mean, they were dressing, they were putting on over. I was shocked just.
And it, it made me realize like, these are still, they are kids at the end of the day, their children. I don’t care how big they are. They’re still children and they still love to play and they love to have fun and they love to pretend.
And in that moment, that’s when I realized like everything I do can be, can go from kindergarten all the way to fifth because those kids love to play too. And they like to dress up and do those fun things that they really don’t ever get to do. Yeah. [00:40:00] So yeah, I totally agree that play needs to be brought back.
I am literally working on a brand new first year teacher. She struggled last year. She was a secondary teacher. So of course there was a lot of conflict, but she asked me because I think she was always so surprised when she would come pick her kids up that I wasn’t having behavior problems and she’s like, Oh, this one’s not acting up and I’m like, no, they were fine.
And she’s like, well, why are they like that for you? So I told her like, you know, you’ve got to learn how to incorporate fun. but that’s what she’s been taught. You know, she’s a great teacher, but I told her that this year she and I are going to sit down so I can really help her figure out, you know, how can you tie in fun things?
Because when you have the fun, they’ll do what you want them to do because they want to have fun. And so you have to learn how to tie it all together and make the learning fun. Don’t make it. Boring.
Gissele overdub: Yeah.
Kara: I’m preaching that this year. Yeah,
Gissele overdub: for sure. That’s, that’s great. And, and it’s so great that you’re willing to help your colleague out so that she can [00:41:00] get the best outcomes and the kids can get the best outcome.
So that’s, that’s also very compassionate and community based. I just have a couple of more questions. I’m asking all of my guests what their definition of unconditional love is. Oh,
Kara: that’s something I actually think about, you know, because to me, you know, we love people in all different parts of our lives, but that unconditional love is, Like, no matter what you do, or what you say, or how you behave, I love you just the same.
So, for me, it’s really about, and this is something that I feel the Compassionate Schools Project has really taught me. Me because let me tell you, my journey as a teacher has definitely changed. I have changed. I mean, just how I approach teaching, how I approach relationships with other people.[00:42:00]
It’s all changed because of this program, because the more I got into it and the more I really understood that I needed my own practice, like my own personal practice in order to really be the best mindfulness teacher for my kids. I love to journal.
There’s just certain things that I do with my day to kind of set me up for success. It has really allowed me to learn not to take things personal. And I think once I’ve removed myself and there’s no room for like, like whatever anyone says to me, I’m not making it about me. You know, I’m looking at them thinking, Hmm, wonder why she said that, you know, and it never is anything that knocks me off or really gets me upset.
But it makes me just realize, like, how many people are out here hurting, you know, and like, I go to work every day and I’m probably one of the very few people that like, I come in with a smile on my face pretty much every day. And I tell my coworkers, like, I love my job. Like, I’m, I’m so glad, I’m glad to be here.
I’m grateful to be here. I literally take [00:43:00] gratitude into every class session that I have. I tell the kids, like, I’m grateful for you, you know, and that sense of gratitude. It kind of just like brings the love out of you, you know, so I have just learned over time that in. Really loving someone and loving them unconditionally.
It is really about not taking things personal. And then no matter what is happening, I’m still operating with you from a place of love, because that’s who I am. You know, I embody love. I embody the joy. I bring that so that I can share that with you. I like try to just be a beacon of sunshine. And that’s what I tell them.
I’m here to be the sunshine. And so what do you need today? I do this with the adult and the kids, which I also think is why I have really good relationships with the teachers. So like when I need something, or if I’m asking teachers to join in on something, they are much more likely to do so [00:44:00] because they already have a relationship with me.
And so like that what’s happening with that second grade teacher, that’s literally my natural inclination is to like, Oh, let me help her, you know, I want to show her because. Nobody else is doing it. And so we can’t expect a brand new teacher to come into an environment like ours, where it’s, it is a struggle.
I mean, the kids are, it is rough. And if you’re not prepared, you will drown. I mean, you just will. And I’ve seen it happen. So I really am a person who believes in just operating from that place of joy. And, oh, let me help you. Oh, you need that. I’m here. Let me help you with that. And it’s good. I can do that because I am an itinerant teacher.
So I don’t have the same. pressures the same responsibilities that the classroom teachers do. So I really feel, and sometimes they’re jealous of that, you know, they’re like, you’re so lucky. And I’m like, you can do this too. There’s plenty of jobs to do this. So, you know, it just gives me an opportunity to just kind of, you know, see what everyone is needing, not just the [00:45:00] kids, but what is it, what is anybody needing?
Let me help you
Gissele overdub: Yeah. for sharing that. That’s a great definition of love. It’s wonderful. Last question is where can people find you or find more information about the compassionate school project? What do you want to share with the, with the audience? Anything that you want to share, please share now.
Kara: Well, you know, clearly you can find me at Ingleheart elementary school in Louisville, Kentucky. CSP found here: link
I’m always open to classroom visits. I have had visits from so many people, literally the surgeon general for president Obama came to my classroom to watch me teach. Oh my gosh. Amazing.
Like I am always open to people who want to see this program in action. I have an open door policy. Come in, join in, have a seat. See whatever you like, you know, and it’s great. In terms of that, I am, I am being very intentional this year about getting my social media presence going. So be [00:46:00] on the lookout for hopefully a Tik TOK channel with the Engelhardt So that is my goal for this year. Cause I was thinking like, how can I reach families? And unfortunately, JCP has had a lot of transportation issues and the schedule has changed. We don’t start school till 9 40 in the morning and we get out at almost 5 PM in the afternoon. It is terrible! So in terms of engagement, that piece is missing now because we can get out so late.
You can’t expect parents and families to come right back, you know, 30 minutes and half the time the kids don’t get home till six, six 30. They’re not coming back to school five o’clock for a program. So my goal is to really make it virtual and share tips online. So as soon as I get that going, I will be sure to contact you.
Just say, Oh, yes,
Gissele overdub: of course. Yes, we can put it. Cause I transcribed the interviews and so we can add all the links right there. So yes, please. And I also want to tag [00:47:00] you. So, and just because I, I like you, so I would love to follow your journey. That’s a, that’s amazing.
Kara: I appreciate that.
Gissele overdub: Yeah. Thank you so, so much for being on the show and sharing your wisdom with all of us.
We really appreciate it. Please continue to update us on the amazing work that you are doing. And I thank you all for joining us for another episode of the love and compassion podcast with Gissele. Have a
Kara: good day. Have a good one.
